His ways : A Halal Love Story

2

Anabia  stared at Zayed who stood a few feet away from her. Confusion that sat in the pit of her stomach changing into concern upon seeing tears in his eyes. She had never seen tears in his eyes- not even when he had buried his elder brother 6 feets under the ground.

She took in a deep breath, proceeding to clear her throat." What are you doing here Bhai? "
" Admiring the view..." He answered. Voice so calm and collected that she questioned her own eyes as of whether she had just a few moments ago seen him choking on his tears.
Despite all, one thing she was certain was that he was lying, she could easily read him. She knew when was he lying and when telling the truth. When he was sad and when he was hiding something. There were only two people since childhood, he would come to when he needed help or when he needed someone to wipe his tears, Anabia and his brother .

" Who would admire a beautiful view with tears in his eyes? Ya Zayed. " Her soft voice penetrated the dead silence of the night. He felt ashamed.
She waited for an answer but none came. She knew there was something big behind his silence, his face was blank and eyes void of emotions. She knew he wanted the world to think of him as being that was emotionless, cold and ruthless. But Anabia knew he was still the 6 year old who would climb his brothers lap to get kisses on his bruise. The same 9 years old who would go to mosque on his brother's shoulder. The same 12 years old who would sneak into his older brother's bed because the nightmares sacred him. The same 20 years old who had took his brother to his last flight.  There were several times when she strongly wanted to take a hammer and break this shell of his but she knew she had to wait for him to let himself out on his own.

"What happened?" she pressed softly.
She wanted him to open up, it hurt her to see him like this, broken and wounded.  His eyes which only few years ago were so alive and vivid had grown dead and emotionless. The kid who had hid behind his brothers shoulder had grown to square his own shoulders to the world.

Anabia had not excepted for his shell to break so suddenly but she felt relieved and hurt for him at the same time. Finally when the mask broke, Tears flowed freely down his eyes. The shell  had cracked in thousand pieces for the first time .
"S-she left me. I gave up everything for her yet she left me for someone else ; she broke up with me over his wealth. "
Anabia wasn't surprised,  She knew this would happen. She remained quiet letting him continue. Watched as he continued hopelessly.
"I betrayed my family, I left them when they needed me, i fought with you and yet she left me for someone else . I left my family for her." He yelled, chest puffing in and out. Fist clenched helplessly at his side.

" Why ?" Anabia asked genuinely confused ;She  knew not why he took such step when they all needed him and when he also needed them. Why He left them in ruins of his elder brother's death. With the death of his elder brother, Zayed also changed he wasn't the same guy Anabia had known since the tender age of five. He wasn't the same person who had grown up with her perched on his elder brothers shoulder. The one who would always fought with her and protected her from boys who rediculed her in middle school. He had changed in someone so heartless that she questioned whether she had ever known him before it. He had changed into  some one who did not care for his family.
" Because...  " Zayed mumbled still looking at the dark water flowing beneath him " I love her."
Pity seeped into her heart seeing him in such a devastating condition. He loved her and she left him, betrayed his love and ruined him.

" Even now ?" She asked carefully observing him.

He just shrugged his shoulder. She observed him , carefully choosing her words. She did not want to push him down further then he was in such a vunerable condition.
" You know why aren't we allowed to date in islam, ya Zayed it save us from these types of condition."

"Yes ! yes" he chuckled,  bitterly " in other words you are trying to say is that had I been a good muslim I wouldn't have dated and wouldn't have been here. Aren't you? "

" No! " she said softly " it is because ' Allah ( swt ) wants us to be happy.'"

" If He did then why would He do so? I was happy. "
She snorted.
" Were you ? " Anabia asked stepping closer as  he took a  step closer towards the roofs edge. Whether it was intentional or not, she didn't know.

" I was! For little while atleast " he cried.

" You can't find happiness in such love. "  She said in a clear yet calm voice as if waking him .

" Why not? " he asked challenging her.

" because , your own parents disliked it ; your Lord forbid it. How could you be happy when your creator and parents weren't? " she said again taking steps forward.

" but..but it felt so right."

" Did it turn out to be right ?"
He stayed quiet observing the dark sky as if he wanted to be a part of it. She knew he was filled up with guilt now and just wanted to cure it but he can't be thinking of it , could he? It was merciless. How can he even think of it?
" you can't be thinking of it could you?" She asked as she put her hand on his shoulder, forcefully making him face her before dropping her palm to her side.
" what should I do? I don't know what to do. I was never like this, just years ago i was one of those who will wake even before fajr to get a place in first row of masjid. I used to always spent my free time either with my mother massaging her foot or with you and bhai on the night before Eid baking sweets for the next day. I was always one of those who believed that family was everything but then something happened and i became like this. I dont know how. When bhai died in that car accident, I wasn't there for my parents ; I ignored them and left my responsibilities on you. I know they will never forgive me. Even Allah wont forgive me. I have done things that are haram and loathed by Allah, Anabia!"

" And what makes you so sure?  " she asked challenging him.

Zayed remained quiet, he did not know , a thick silence followed. Only the harsh winds anchoring the chaos.
Anabia sighed. " Ya Zayed, think if you were a mother  and your son broke a very expensive vase and got hurt from it. What would you be more concerned about the vase or your son?  Allah loves us more than seventy mothers could and a mother's love is incomparable. He is Al-Rehman and  Al-Raheem, He will surely forgive his creation if he repents genuinely.  " Anabia said,  smiling up at him.

" Will He also forgive me?" Zayed asked as his eyes lit up with hope.

" yes He surely will, if you repent trully. " Anabia said softly stepping back.

" I'm sorry for leaving my responsibility on your shoulders. I'm sorry for never listening to you when you tried to show me the right path.  " Zayd mumbled, dropping his gaze to the ground.

" They are my parents too. They raised me from an orphan, ya Zayed.  And remember I am always here."

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