I had an epiphany. One I've had too often. I was failing two of my classes. Tony hasn't talked to me in awhile. The teachers are getting more and more excited to kick us out. I haven't gotten sleep. It's unbearable. It's what I've feared since 6th grade.
"Hey. You okay?"
Rico cocked an eyebrow.
"Yeah. I'm fine Rico. Just a little lost is all."
As if that sounded even the slightest bit of assuring.
"... Lost?"
"Yeah. You don't need to worry about it, really."
"You sure?"
Her eyes broadened at me. She could tell there was something really wrong. At least someone noticed.
"Yeah... What did you get in Constantine's test?"
She babbled about getting at least half of the questions wrong while I glanced down at my notebook. Empty. I haven't written notes in 3 days, even if the notebook takes that as 3 years of catching up. I blinked a few times to feel my breathing. It wasn't there. My mouth felt empty. Not dry, just empty. I wondered what it was like to be responsible. I wondered how easy it was to kil-
"Hey! You listening?"
Rico waved slightly too close at me.
"Yeah. Um... Sorry just can't focus."
Her eyebrow flicked up as her eyes stared me down as if she was trying to examine a dead body. An autopsy.
"If you need help with the notes, I can-"
"No. I'm fine really. Thanks."
Rico's eyes faded and her lips twisted a bit into the inevitable pity.
"Hey."
Corona kicked my lower back as she entered the room.
"Hey."
My voice truly fainted. My lying little mouth. Telling the truth and asking for lies.
"It a Hart!"
"Hey guys!"
"Hart!!! How'd you do on the test last Thursday?"
"Constantine?"
"Yep."
"Eh... Well..."
I intervened with a chuckle.
"Gurl! The lowest you can get is a fucking A-."
"Yeah... But like-"
"HART YOU HAVE A 4.0 GPA WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Still!"
I sighed and stared at my notes. Still blank.
"You okay-"
"I'M FINE OKAY?!"
Everyone suddenly turned to me at a swift jolt.
"I'm fine."
Corona came up to hug me as Hart and Rico discussed their test scores.
"Corona...?"
"...Yeah?"
"I feel useless."
Corona gripped me tighter from behind.
"Hey... you're- you're not."
I needed this. I wanted this. The pity. The love. I just needed it from her. Corona.
