What I've learned
Well, this year i'm in the 12th grade, so you think I would know high school by now right? Wrong! I'm still learning and finding out a lot about everything. I still can't seem to figure out how boys work. I always end up hurt, confused, or feeling sorry for myself. The sad truth is I fell for it AGAIN this year! I always think, maybe this one is different, or it'll work out Wrong again! Dang, I just can't win for loosing! I never have been good with guys or knowing how they operate. It will always be a mystery to me. I know I am getting better at figuring guys out, also figuring out my own feelings. I've learned that I get emotionally attached to people way too easily. Even most of my friends I do the same because they're all special to me. I've learned that not all friends will be there, all the time. I will inform you of what I learned, I learned that some people who say they're your "best friend's" don't really mean it. Just to let you know, I won't use real names, but everything else I say is 60% true.
Classes
So now here I am at this small 9th grade center, man it was so small. I don't remember much except Spanish 2 was my first period and I had no friends except I saw a few band people. I didn't talk to them though, I was so quiet. Then 2nd period was English I had one other band person in there but I was still quiet. Then 3rd period comes, which is World Geography, and I see Kelly there and I talked to her but I still felt like an outsider. I'm not exactly apart of the popular kids clan. I'm not a nerd either because i'm not a genius. I'm like that awkward in the middle, weird kid. Lol. After 3rd I had D lunch, however I had to run to D lunch because my school is so small. I'm going to pause the story for a second and describe my school. I was a freshman and at North Crowley we have a Ninth grade campus. So it's really small and only has 2 long hallways, in order to be able to have time to eat, I had to run to lunch everyday! It sucked but I wanted to get my food so I had to. Now back to the story, so I was past the big blob of black "wannabe ghetto" black people in the school. So I was in the clear, now all I had to do was fast walk the rest of the way to lunch. And I would sit and talk to Kelly, Tara, Ron, and Katie. They are cool and funny people. Anyways my next and last period of the day was Theatre with my soon to be bestie Ally. Back to the main point of best friends. Ok so it's a B Day at my school now, so first I went to boring Algebra I. I never understood it but after that I had PE with my best friend Ella, she always making me laugh! I have no idea why on earth, they put me in PE, when band is considered a PE credit. However, I guess it was alright because I had grow to become closer to Ella in that class. My 3rd period was band, which is what I love and enjoy doing. I play the flute and during my freshman year I wasn't very good at it. But I worked hard and practiced, alot to get better. My last and final class was Biology which always seemed like the longest class on earth.
Guys
Me and Julia have been best friends since 7th grade. We met in band and we both played flute, that year we promised to be flute buddies for life, no matter what. So we were besties and always would hang out with each other. Well, it all started in 9th grade, we were young, and blinded by one thing, boys. That's where everything started to become confusing and we started acting stupid. So I was the first to experience the weird stages of falling for a guy. He was in band, played flute and his name was Ethan. I had gotten to sit next to him during August camp and I just thought he was so nice and attractive. I kept staring at him but sometimes he would notice. In my mind, i'm like, why am I still looking?! Sometimes we would both make eye contact and smile at each other. Then I would think all of these, weird, confusing, and exciting thoughts. Like, what if he likes me, what if he thinks i'm weird, why would he want a little, quiet freshman like me. I couldn't even focus on what we were doing in band anymore. What is wrong with me?! Why can't I stop thinking about him?! Does he think I'm too shy or small?! Why am I worried about it?! Oh well, maybe i'm just over reacting. Freshman year oh my goodness where do I even begin. Well I don't remember much but I do remember having such a great time in band. I met so many amazing flutist and they were all so nice to me. I worked super hard and my best friend Juile did also. Ok, so one of the flutes that I met was Ethan. Oh man, he was so cute, funny, and sweet. I thought I had gotten over him from not seeing him at school, but I was so wrong. Seeing him constantly, at practices, games, and class I was literally going crazy. I needed to find out if he was single or if he even thought of me in that way. So one day, in 4th period, I finally gained the courage to ask Ally if he was single. Unfortunately, she said no, he has a girlfriend. So I decided to let it go and tried to forget about him. Alright so homecoming was coming up and as usual I had no one to go with. I wasn't expecting to go with anyone either but my dream was to go with Ethan. Oh man, I just knew that would be the best night of my life, if that happened. Suddenly, my day dream was interrupted by a text message.By the way today was just a normal school day and I am now at my Nana's house sitting on the couch. Anywho, back to the interruption, I realized I had received a text but then I notice it's from Ethan. My heart instantly fills with joy. I begin reading it and after I read it half of my joy is now gone. It basically said that he wish he would've known that I liked him. He said he liked me too but he isn't single and he also asked me to homecoming, or so I thought. Now it was the homecoming game and I had such a fun time I just was a bit sad since Ethan wasn't going with me, he was taking his girlfriend. The homecoming dance was ok, I pretty much hung out with Juile and didn't do much dancing. I also may have stalked Ethan, gosh his smile was so cute and made my heart beat so fast. Juile kept telling me to talk to him but I was too afraid, she eventually called him over to where we were. In my mind I was thinking; Oh no he's coming over here. Does my hair look ok? What do I say? What do I do? Ethan and Juile were now where I was and I honestly can't recall the conversation we had. I was too focused on how cute, kind, and funny he was. Somehow, in all of that daydreaming, I managed to ask for a picture with him. Oh my goodness, the moment he put his arm on mine I knew that I had seriously fallen for him. Ok, so I just started to talk to him more since I realized I obviously couldn't stay away. He was cool and fun to talk to in all but oh my goodness his face was just too cute. His dark brown eyes and cute baby face was so adorable to me and I was like I gotta have him. Ethan I guess was having problems with his current girlfriend at the time so we got to talk more often. It was nice and he said he liked me too which only made me happier inside. I felt kind of bad when he broke up with her though, he said it was because they had problems. Although, a part of me wants to believe that he did it for me. Me and Ethan also see each other all the time in band and in class we were both in the lowest band, symphonic band. I wasn't the best flute player but that's another chapter in my high school years. I was still competitive though and he was my competition, ironic right? I know it sucked but no matter how good he looked I always tried to beat him. Any who, back to me liking Ethan again. I told Ally to talk to him for me again so she did. I loved having Ally as a "Wing girl", she always had my back. Ok, so Ethan found out that I still liked him and he still really liked me too. This made me so filled with joy and excitement I almost ran a marathon and peed my pants. Luckily, I didn't do that. Alright so, one day, after school I was texting Ethan, as I always do. Suddenly he texts, "hey can I ask you something?". I say "yea sure". He texted back quickly saying, "will you go out with me?" In that moment I paused and just dropped the phone and screamed. Oh my gosh, words couldn't describe the excitement I was feel in that moment. Don't judge me, but I jumped off my bed and danced to nothing. There was no music, no sounds, nothing, and I was still jumping around and dancing like an idiot. I basically did the hokey pokey, the macerena, the sprinkler. Any corny dance you name it, I did it all. Then all of a sudden I stopped and said "oh shit!" I forgot to respond, oh no he's gonna think I don't like him! I hurried up, grabbed my phone, and typed like I had just got the holy ghost. I texted back "yes I would :)" . In my mind I was really saying "Oh my goodness, of course I would! Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask? Do you know what affect you have on me? I feel so close to you yet I barely know you. I would want nothing more than to be know as Ethan's girl. You're so sweet, kind, funny, and very attractive. I can't believe Ethan, an upper classmen, wants to be with me. A quiet, ugly, weird little freshman.Oh by the way my name is Alyssa Nelson. Any who, the next day was kind of awkward, we both had no idea what to say. He decided to start the conversation by saying "So are you staying here for lunch?" I paused and looked out of the doors next to the band hall and watched as the bus for the 9th grade campus left the High school. So I looked back at him and said "I guess I could stay and take the next bus that comes after lunch." He said "Yaaay, cool come sit with me." As soon as I saw Ally I zoomed over to her and gave her a hug and said hey. Man sometimes I caught myself gazing at Ethan, I loved everything about that boy I swear he brings chills up my spine and makes me smile from ear to ear, every time I see him. I think he realized I was admiring him because he stopped talking to his friends, looked at me, smiled and said "Yea and I really like this girl I recently met, she's a freshman, who's small and cute" My dumb self just jumps to all types of conclusions. I was thinking, who is he talking about?! Does he know I can hear him?! Does he know that I'm Alyssa, also known as the crazy girlfriend?! Why is he saying this ?! Tears were beginning to blind me I had to get out of there it was too much. As I ran away I thought about why would he do that to me? He probably doesn't even like me he-Ouch what the heck?! Ok so I bumped into this guy I was about to say sorry until I realized who it was. It was Micah and he was trying to talk to me. I told him I wasn't in the mood and then I felt another hand on my shoulder. But it wasn't just any hand, I knew this touch, I knew the feel. I knew it had to be my boyfriend or ex boyfriend? Or I don't know I just know what he said really hurt me. His voice was soft when he said "Hey you ok? What upset you back there? I was worried." I began to feel tears streaming down my face as I said "You, you were talking about another girl and that really hurt me." Ethan paused, then remembered, and instantly busted out into laughter. I found his laughter quite rude and foul. I was so shocked by his terrible behavior I mean he was laughing at me! Ugh this pissed me off. He finally stopped to explain himself and said "Alyssa I would never hurt you like that, I was talking about the beautiful girl standing in front of me." I smiled realizing who he was talking about that just made my whole day. Then his hug; his hug was yaaaas! I enjoyed the rest of my day because of him.
Ok here's a recap Micah is this weird boy that I've known since the beginning of the year he either creeps me out or scares me. Either way he didn't have many friend's, I didn't know many people so I ended up being friends with him. He's so weird though he always talks about his crush but never says her name. You would think he was the depressed and sensitive type but he's not he is just a regular weird kid. If that makes sense but he is my friend so I guess he's cool peeps. He's someone I can talk to about anything and he won't judge, he's also very understanding. Micah is strange but oh there will be a day when I figure out his true personality and his crush!
Back to Ethan:
Today is a new day but it's an A day so I won't be seeing Ethan anytime soon. That was definitely a Debbie downer for me, no seeing my Ethan today, hmm my Ethan, that's cute. So I was walking and literally tripped over my own feet only for someone to break my fall. Well what do you know it's Micah, I laughed and said "You know, you would make a great cushion someday" However, what he said threw me so far off of earth I could've sworn I went straight to Pluto, he said "As long as I'm your cushion I'm ok with that" After that weird statement I got off of him as fast as I could and he was cracking up, I'm lookin like so this fool just said that to get me off of him. Well I can't blame him, but I actually fell for it so realizing how gullible I was I joined in with his laughter. Now we look like two crack heads who just got their next high and we're so happy no one could tell us nothing! After our weird meeting of pain and laughter (pain because my little bump of a booty got hurt from that fall) we greeted each other and hugged for longer than normal but I was like hey he's a weird kid I learn something new about him everyday.
~~After School's over~~
I met up with Micah and here's how our conversation went.
Micah walks up to me and says "Hey what's up Alyssa?"
Alyssa says "Nothing much just about to walk to the-"
She gets interrupted by him and he says "Hey I got a question for, but it has to be quick I gotta catch my bus ok?"
Alyssa looked puzzled but said "Ok, shoot"
Micah grins feeling accomplished says "We need to get to know each other more, let's hang at my place, on Monday. We have no school, it's a teacher workday. That's a perfect day to have our little outing."
Alyssa stood there with her mouth wide open and her eyes got as big as they could "..........." She was speechless.
Micah laughed and smiled then whispered "Think about it, and if you're lucky maybe I can be your cushion again." He, then gives her a quick hug goodbye, but as he's running to catch the bus he yells "Think about it Alyssa! Bye, see ya tomorrow!"
