Dancing with Danger

CHAPTER FOUR: Didn't I?

Chapter Four: Didn't I?

"There was bat shit on my mom's car this morning. It's crazy because, you know what? There were no bats around," I answered her.

I had a few seconds of pause before I actually answered her. I was choosing between repeating what I said or assuming she really did not know what I had said. I chose the latter.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Is that what you said?"

I looked at her and she looked back at me. With what she asked, I knew she heard what I said and yet I nodded. That bat shit story was not even true, not in the least. But hey, bats could be anywhere. We stared at each other for a few seconds before she looked away, almost too suspiciously.

That entire, "I am bat shit crazy about you" line I had said was running through my head all day long that Richard had to ask me if I was okay because the thought has been bothering me the entire day.

"You okay, bro?" he asked me in a whisper as I sat through lunch.

I looked at him and narrowed my eyes. "Uhh, yeah. Why?"

"I dunno, man. You tell me. I think we lost you the entire day." He let out a small chuckle.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I'm cool, man."

Richard tapped me on my shoulder. "You know, when you want to."

Richard was one of the few people I have trusted. I have never been one to trust people so easily. I built walls around myself and that is how I was built. It is not something I could breakdown, it just so happened that I was like that. But I could not get myself to talk to Richard about it. Just not right now. I felt too secretive (and a little uncomfortable) about how I was so consumed about Julia's existence.

Julia was the kind of person who asked too many personal questions but one would never feel as if she asked too much. She never made me feel as if we should be in a specific level of friendship before she can ask me those questions. To be honest, I could not tell if she liked me or if she just liked me as Charlie, her seatmate. I thought we were close enough to be called friends, at least. I could not even tell if she liked me the way I liked her, she made no subtle hints about it if she ever felt the same way.

I was scared of rejection as much as I was scared losing (or breaking) any one of my teeth. I liked my teeth the way they look but I would rather they meet Julia's mouth. And I realized, as I sat on my bed, strumming my guitar I called Gypsy Danger, that that thought sounded pretty disgusting. But Julia-disgusting is something I would take any day.

I remember how I called her Julie at one point and I intended to so I would not seem too eager. I had so many chances to tell her how I felt and yet fear weighed more than my own satisfaction. Julia seemed to be that kind of person who did not need too many people in her life. She seemed to be happy hanging out with Megan, her only friend, than she ever did with me.

I pulled on a few more strings in my guitar and closed my eyes. Obvious as it was, it was Julia's face that popped into the darkness. I kept playing as she smiled in my head, or as her hair flipped, or as she wrote in her notebook. I realized all of a sudden how I was starting to make some music with the thought of her.

"You wanna listen to something?" Charlie asked a few minutes after I reached my seat.

I saw him that morning, he was smiling so big, as usual and I had the urge to squeeze his cheek or share the same seat where he sat. I felt so into him the minute I saw him that morning and I felt proud I had self-control.

"Sure," I replied as I placed my bag lightly on the floor.

He pulled his chair, making a squeaking sound on the wooden floor, towards mine. He gave me both his earphones this time and the highlighted difference was, he placed them on my ears. He did not give me each piece, he was the one who placed it on each ear that I had. For a second, his hand brushed ever so lightly on my cheek. His touch sent an electric current onto my body and I felt the hair on my nape stand up.