Baby When You are Drunk and I am High

Losing myself to find you

"Truth"
He replied without much thinking. I was surprised that he would choose truth but before I could rethink my question I blurted it out.
"How did you try to kill yourself"
He stiffened and I mentally slapped myself. Why in the hell would I ask that? and just as I was about to change the question thinking he won't answer he pulled his jacket to one side and opened the top two buttons of his shirt and that's when I saw the huge scar on the left side of his chest just where heart lies. It was huge and my gaze never wavered from it. It was like I could not see anything else. His voice broke me out of the trance
"I tried to cut it out"
A gasp escaped my lips as I understood what he was trying to say. I don't know how but I started crawling over to him my eyes fixated on his scar. Soon I found myself on his lap. I took my finger and touched the scar so lightly thinking what if it still hurts? I did not know when I started crying but soon my cheeks were wet and my eyes were blurry. Even thinking about the pain he would have felt while trying to cut his heart out was unbearable but he went through it, how?

Without thinking I started mumbling
"Oh My god, it must have hurt too much...Why did you do this? Oh how it must have pained"
I don't think he would have understood my rambling as I was sobbing by then. I started kissing his scar gently as if soothing his pain. Oh! How I wanted to take away his pain. I lost myself in his pain. His grip on my waist tightened and he slowly pushed me away from himself. I looked into his molten chocolate pools and saw so many emotions but the most prominent was pain.

I knew that this pain would eat him away; it was too much so without any second thought I placed my lips on his and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. He did not respond immediately but soon he started kissing me with such urgency and passion that had I not been sitting my knees would surely have collapsed. His tongue ran along my bottom lip asking for permission and I opened my mouth and granted him the access. His tongue entered my mouth so gently and gracefully and tangled with my own in a war of dominance. He tasted every corner of my mouth. We were kissing like anything. I started pushing his jacket off of his shoulders and soon it was off. He slowly pushed me back and soon I felt the grass on my back.

I started clawing at his T-shirt urging for him to take it off forgetting that we were out in the open. Our lips never lost contact. He was the one who realized where we were and stopped as I tried to pull him back, but he stopped me and said
"Not here"
His voice was deep and laced with such lust that I shivered from its impact. It was downright the sexiest thing I have ever heard. I knew that we can't stop. I needed to take his pain away, I needed to forget my own misery So without so much as a thought I replied
"Come back to mine?"
He nodded and we collected whatever we could and started walking. My apartment was 20 steps away and even though it was close I just could not wait to touch him so I moved close to him and plastered myself to his side hugging his waist and in return he just tightened his hold on mine. We kept walking faster and faster and I just could not wait so I started kissing and sucking his neck and shoulder. I started nibbling too and a growl escaped his mouth at that. I change my statement that Growl was the sexiest thing I have ever heard.

Soon we reached my apartment I opened the door and before I could register he had his hands around my waist and he kissed me with such fervor that I was breathless. I listened to the door being shut and then I was pinned against it. His whole body pressing mine in such a delicious way that I was on fire. He started kissing me and I responded just as eagerly. He slowly moved to my neck and then collarbone. The touch of his lips on my skin left Goosebumps all over. It was sinful, the way his lips and tongue caressed my skin driving me crazy. I played with the hem of his shirt in the desperation to feel his skin against mine. He got my message and pulled the shirt over his head. He was gorgeous. His chest was sculpted to perfection. His washboard abs were every woman's dream but what made him irresistible to me was the scar on his chest. For me that scar was a symbol of how strong yet weak he was. He was magnetic and I could not help but move towards him. He took my top off and we resumed kissing. Our hands were anywhere and everywhere at once. I was panting and his breath was heavy with all the making out too. I started moving towards my bedroom still kissing him.

It was like we had to keep touching. By the time we reached the bedroom we were just in our undergarments. Soon the back of my knees hit the bed and I fell on it taking him with me. I rearranged myself on the bed and he came over me. He started nibbling my collarbone and then he slid the straps of my slip off my shoulder and started kissing and sucking all the exposed skin. It was torturous, the way his tongue would tease my skin every now and then torturing me. I could not take the teasing anymore so I flipped us over and sat straddling his hips. I started biting his lip then his jaw line and neck and then his chest. I sucked and licked each part of his gorgeous chest and abs but he flipped us back. I knew he wanted to dominate, to be in control. He needed it to forget about his pain so I let him. He slid my remaining clothes out of the way while I did the same to him and soon we lost ourselves in the haze of alcohol, drugs, lust but most importantly pain. It was the perfect union of two broken souls healing each other and in that moment I realized this was something more than just casual sex but I didn't know what it exactly was.