five

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winter // five

H

Louis doesn't even blink when he steps out into the living room, merely side steps Harry's naked body as if he is another piece of scattered furniture. He even has the nerve to kick at one of Harry's ankles so that he sways out of the tree position and loses concentration.

Harry scowls at his roommate's back. "I was trying to do yoga."

"Yes," Louis agrees from the kitchen.

"You disrupted my routine," Harry says.

"That I did," says Louis. Cabinets close and open in the other room. "We're out of frozen waffles. Which leaves only canned fruit or stale granola bars for breakfast. What would you like, yoga master?"

Standing up, Harry stretches out his tight muscles and lumbers towards the kitchen. Louis is on the countertop, stretched up on his tip toes, rummaging through the highest cabinets in search for what little bit of food Niall might have hidden away.

"Useless," Harry says, collapsing into his assigned chair, the one Zayn drew a penis on it because no one wanted to sit where Harry was constantly lounging naked. It's a good system. "Liam was searching up there yesterday, mate."

Louis huffs out an annoyed breath. "I want breakfast, though."

"Uhm," Harry says, tapping his fingers on the ink-stained table. "I can help you with that. Breakfast. I can help you with the whole eating breakfast thing."

"Is that a sex joke, Styles? If so, it was rubbish."

"No, you're just a dirty person." Harry avoids Louis' curious glare by staring at their floor. It needs to be sweeped and it probably never will be. "I was just going to get breakfast at a coffee shop and thought you might wanna come."

There is a beat of silence. Then, "You fucking stalker."

"Heeey," Harry whines, burying his face into his hands. "They have really good muffins, that's all."

"Really good muffins," Louis mimics. He jumps off the countertop with the agility of a kitten and lands surely in front of Harry, hands planted on his sides. "You're getting creepy, mate. I've never seen you this focused on anyone before."

Harry kicks at Louis' bare ankles. "Most people give in somewhere between me asking them to go out and me using my sex voice on them. Unfortunately, Lena is not one of those people. Or maybe that's fortunate. Dunno yet."

"Your sex voice is shit. No one should give into that."

Harry's learned that when fighting with Louis, it's best to bring up The One Time That Is Never To Be Mentioned Ever Again because that's the only way to get him flustered enough to change the subject. Usually, it also involves Louis slapping Harry, but. It's worth it.

"Worked on you," Harry says lowly, bracing himself for impact.

Louis reaches out and smacks him, but his train of thought is lost. Battle won. "I was seventeen and drunk and probably would have snogged with a buffalo if one was offered," he hisses. "Shut your mouth."

"Best snog of your life," Harry snickers, holding his red cheek.

"Get dressed, you heathen. We're going to stalk Smart Girl. I need a math tutor and you need to get laid."

"Thanks, Lou," Harry says, deep and low, the best impression of his sex voice he can manage at nine in the morning.

Louis smacks him again. To be fair, he probably deserved that one. "You're paying."

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