depression

•sorry•

i'm so sorry i'm the way that i am.

i'm sorry that i push everyone away.

i'm sorry that i don't say much.

i'm sorry that i'm so difficult to figure out.

too complicated for people to stay around.

maybe that's why everyone ends up leaving me.

maybe it's me.

it has to be me.

i'm just sorry, i don't know why i'm like this honestly.

and i don't know how to change it.

i'm sorry that i'm constantly biting my nails and my hair's uncombed.

i'm sorry that when you talk, i'm just silent.

maybe i'm too caught up.

it's just beautiful, when people speak.

you know.

i get lost in your words and eyes.

the way your body helps articulate what you're saying.

or maybe it's just whenever you say something.

you run your fingers through your hair.

i love listening, i'd much rather listen than talk.

it probably seems like i don't care.

but maybe i care too much.

i'm so lost, i forget to speak.

but trust me, there's so much i want to say.

maybe, hopefully, i'll share it with you.

so please don't leave me.

talk some more, i want to hear.

i'm sorry again, for tripping over everything when we walk.

i'm just so lost.

maybe a tree caught my eye, or a bird, maybe it's the way that building's shaped.

hell, it's probably everything.

i don't know how to express that to you, or anyone in fact.

but, i'm so sorry, i don't want to be weird.

my silence is speaking to you.

you probably don't understand that,

just don't leave me.

i can be beautiful, i promise.

so don't leave, talk some more.

i'm listening.