Pabo Sarang (Stupid Love)

[5] - Plan

"Ehem."

Na-divert naman ang attention nilang dalawa sa akin. Medyo hindi pa nga sila agad tumigil eh.

This is so.. FRUSTRATING. LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK, JIN. Are you that insensitive? Alam mo namang mahal kita tapos, ano to? Sinasadya nya bang ipakita to sa'kin? WHAT THE HELL. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.

"Ituloy nyo lang yan. Don't mind me." I said coldly. Naupo ako sa sofa at binuksan ang TV.

Bakit kasi ang tanga-tanga ko? Bakit kahit ilang babae pa ang iuwi nya eh sya pa rin ang gusto ko? Yes, it's not the first time I saw him making out with another girl.

I sneaked a peek at them and what the fuck, ipinagpatuloy nga nila!

I'm hearing sounds I'm not supposed to hear and I'm seeing things I never wanted to see. UGH. This is so screwed.

This is too much. Hindi ko na kaya. Lumabas ako ng condo. I called Luke.

"Luke.." Nanginginig na ang boses ko habang sinasabi 'yon.

He didn't respond. He knows that I know he's listening.

"Please pick me up now. Meet me at *huff* SB Ortigas." And then I hang the phone up.

Walking distance lang naman yung Starbucks mula dito pero nag-taxi na ako. I can't see clearly. My vision's blurred by tears.

"Danica!" Sigaw nung isang lalaki sa'kin. What's he doing here? Si Luke yung tinawagan ko!

"Why are you here? I called Luke." Sabi ko. I don't like people seeing me like this. Vulnerable. At least si Luke, he knows me well.

"You dialled the wrong number. And you were like a wailing kid over the phone that's why I hurried here." He explained.

Oh, so that's it. Embarrassing.

"Nakakahiya naman. You're a busy person, I know." Sabi nya.

"Not busy enough to turn you down." He said.

I flushed. Okay, this is more embarrassing. I don't like interfering with anyone's schedule.

I touched his hand. "Thank you, Dale."

He blushed. ODG, he blushed!

"Dale.." He whispered.

"Did you just blush?" I teased him.

"Course not." He denied.

Um-order na kami. Napag-usapan namin yung Danica thingy. He's persistent na ako talaga si Danica.

Danica, by the way, is Dalen's first love slash girlfriend. They broke up before Dalen left to study abroad. He said I look exactly like her. Crazy things do happen.

"You know what, Dalen, sana ako na nga lang sya eh. At least, that way, it's not one-sided anymore."

"You're in love with that singer guy, huh? He has no idea how lucky he is." Mahinang sabi nya.

"Yeah, a lot of guys would run head over heels with me. Pero sa dami na yon, wala ni isa sa kanila yung gusto ko. Life's really unfair, you know."

"It's unfair with everyone else. Fair enough." He smirked.

Life's unfair with everyone else. Therefore, it's just fair. Nga naman.

"Know what? I still think that you are Danica. That you were just pretending as if you don't know me because you're still mad at me. Or at least you have-- like on the movies-- an amnesia. And you just forgot everything about us." Wika nya.

I sighed.

"Yeah. Then we'll also have a happy ending.. like in the movies.." Pahina kong sabi.

Napayuko sya. He looked so sad at that moment. Love her that much, huh?

"Ilang taon na ba kayong wala ni Lucky Girl?" Tanong ko.

"Lucky Girl? You mean.. Danica? About 3 years. But of course, in my heart, we never broke up." He said.

Matatawa na sana ako dahil sa sobrang ka-kornihan ng sinabi nya pero nang mapatingin ako sa mukha nya.. Not a chance. It's breaking my heart. He looked like a little prince who lost his little princess. How tragic.

"You know what? You need to move on. It's not as if she's the only girl in this world."

Gusto kong sampalin ang sarili ko pagkasabi ko nyan. Move on, really? Sa'kin pa talaga nanggaling yan ha.

Umiling sya.

"You know that's not easy." He said.

"Of course, I know."

Syempre, higit sa lahat, I know what it's like. Pero habang iniisip ko ang ginawa ni Jin kanina, parang gusto kong kalimutan na mahal ko sya.

"Why don't we make a deal?" Alok nya sa akin.

A deal? What kind of deal?

"Of what kind?" I asked him.

"We'll both try to move on." He declared.

"Are you sure? Kaya mo?" Kasi ako, I don't think I can.

"I said, we'll both TRY. Susubukan nating maka-move on. And kung hindi sya mag-work, then let's try again. Hindi tayo titigil hangga't hindi tayo nakakalimot. Even if it takes forever." Litanya nya.

Even if it takes forever..

His words echoed to me. So hindi lang pala ako ang nag-iisip na imposible ang sinasabi nya.

"Lugi ka eh." I teased.

Natawa naman sya.

"Buti alam mo. Makita pa lang kita, nakakalimutan ko na agad ang salitang 'Move on'. You remind me so much of her. I wonder why." At natawa naman sya sa sinabi nya.

"Joker ka na ngayon, ganun ba?" Natatawa kong sabi.

I look exactly like Danica-- According to Dalen-- that's why he'll really have a hard time forgetting her.

"I just wonder.." Pagsisimula ko.

"..Where is she now? Have you tried getting back to her and ask for another freaking chance?"

"She's somewhere far from me. Way too far." Malungkot na sagot niya.

"Is she dead?" Tanong ko. Gano'n naman usually 'di ba? I hope not.

Humalakhak ulit sya. Oh, please.

"Of course, not. She's in a place that I don't know. That's why it's far." He explained.

Oh, I see.

"Maybe you suck too much that's why she left you." Biro ko.

"Maybe 'too much' would be an understatement." At natawa syang muli.

Awkward silence.

"You didn't fight for her, did you?" I asked. Curiosity's killing me.

"I did!" He defensively said.

Oh?

"Really? But you chose Harvard over her." I said.

"I didn't. She pushed me to. She was the one who broke up with me. I was so mad because I was willing to give up everything for her and yet, there she was, pushing me away. It's painful. It's just so masakit."

It's just so.. masakit? Conyo much, Dalen?

"Don't cry in front of me, boy. I'm not her." I told him. Although hindi naman talaga sya naiiyak.

"I know. I just can't believe you're not. I'm convincing myself."

"So ano? Akala ko tapos na tayo sa stage na to? We're moving on, right?"

"Yeah. Sorry. We will move on. In no time, we'll forget the heartaches. We'll move forward and not backwards. We can do it."

At sabay na kaming nag-apir do'n na parang tanga.

I sighed. The things we do for love.

**