I want everyone to know.
If I end it, I want everyone to know why. That's the only reason why I'm doing this.
For 4 years, I've had people around me. Everyone calling each other classmates, or more commonly, friends. No one knows what that means. What it really means. Friend is used too often. It might as well mean stranger. That's what they all are anyways. They think they know each other. They think they know me, but they know my name, my schools, and what I look like. Just because they know that, they call me a friend. I haven't had a friend. I wonder if I ever will. No one takes time to try.
My only hope anymore is remembering stories I've seen, where the man truly loves his woman, and the woman truly loves her man. They understand each other, having spent more time in each others company than they have elsewhere. Taking their time to know each other, until finally, they find out that everything they ever need is right in front of them.
That's all they are, though, stories. Nothing in this world is as good as that. Still, I want to feel a need to keep trying. I'm just going into high school now. My parents tell me that this is where I should start learning to be an adult. I'm pretty sure I'm already an adult. The only reason I still live with my parents is because I don't have the money to live alone. Otherwise, I'd've left a long time ago. I'm on my way to the school.
Pyxis High School. I'm currently 14. Still, I feel older than any of these idiots who I see wearing tank tops and shorts in winter. Why do they do that? I'm giving myself these last four years, or I'm giving up on it all. As I cross the threshold into this school, my only hope is to find something worth going on for. I don't know what it is that I need, but I need it to be good enough to help.
