0112.

ix.

note: the song is called "the water is wide" which is also the ost on pure love (kyungsoo's movie) if you didn't know.

ix.

Kyungsoo felt his presence before he even sat next to him. There is a certain atmosphere coming off of him—like a sheep separated from its herd. His head was hung low, shoulders hunched and fingers hooked under the metal bench that they were sitting on. There were only a few people around this afternoon because it rained last night. The grass was damp and it smelled faintly of earth but he doesn't mind feeling the damp grass under his bare feet. Kyungsoo turns to look at the man curiously before taking out his left earbud. His back was tensed and there seem to be a grey cast on his face. Maybe Kyungsoo was simply imagining it, but there it was, like a mask covering his features. He looks away and stares at how the plants seem to dance along with the cool breeze.

The water is wide,

"Do you think they have a name for it?" asks Kyungsoo after a while. He looks at the man seated on his right when he doesn't answer and dips his head lower to meet his gaze. "Hm, Jongin?"

I can't cross over

Kyungsoo runs his fingers through his hair and throws his head back to gaze at the clear sky. He stretches his legs and curled his toes. He'll probably get in trouble for dirtying his feet again. Kyungsoo tries his best to soak up the heat of the sun every time he visits the garden. He stares at his feet covered in dirt and grass. It's not like he always gets the chance to go outside anyway. He looks down and doesn't bother to hide the smile on his face. So why does it matter? Why does anything?

And neither have I,

Jongin finally turns to look at him and Kyungsoo looks forward and smiles to himself like the usual. He found out that the nurses at the hospital found it easier to stay out of his way whenever he does. For them, it looked weird for someone to smile that much. But it was a mask, a play, like what everyone else wears to hide their sins and their scars. It was necessary, yet sometimes he couldn't see where the mask begins or where it ends. The difference becomes thinner; the line becomes invisible until he can't remember his old self anymore. "You know that high pitched noise? Whenever I get too deep into my thoughts I'd hear them in my head—louder, louder, like it was coming closer."

Wings to fly

Kyungsoo puts his feet over the other and leans back. The cold sensation of the metal bench sends chills down his spine. "They say it's always there and that some people go crazy over it and take their own lives."

Jongin watches silently as Kyungsoo wraps the cord around his finger. "I can hear it every day, you know? It's faint but it's still there. Sometimes I'm afraid that it will take me."

Build me a boat,

He points at the iPod in his lap and smiles coyly. He leans to his right until his shoulder was touching Jongin's. Then, he points at a male nurse staring at them from afar. He had black hair and most of it was covering his forehead. There is a deep frown settling on his face. He looked familiar. "That's why that nurse lets me borrow it sometimes."

That can carry two

Kyungsoo untangles the cord from his finger and offers the left earbud to Jongin. The corners of his mouth twitches upwards, but it looked more like a grimace than a smile. Jongin wonders when he stopped trying to fake his smiles. Kyungsoo stares at him closely and raises an eyebrow. "You're scared too,"

His voice dips in a lower register and it feels as if he's purring in Jongin's ear. "Aren't you?"

Jongin stares at him for what seemed like a lifetime. He doesn't seem to get a hold of what Kyungsoo truly is. He looks at the card in his hands. ZYX, Rm. 206. Second floor, noon. That high pitched noise was rising in its volume. For a moment, he forgets why he came back to visit Kyungsoo. He forgets what Sehun told him last night and leaves behind the nightmares he had. The high pitched noise was getting louder, like it was chasing him. He crumples the small piece of paper in his hands and takes the earbud from the other male. Kyungsoo doesn't miss the way Jongin puts away the paper in his hands before putting in the earbud.

And both shall row,

Kyungsoo doesn't bother hiding the smirk on his face and leans back on the bench, staring up at the sky. He knew it the moment Jongin introduced himself to him. The writer mimics his movements almost comically and Kyungsoo lets out a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding. He was right all along. Everyone is scared.

My love and I