Regret Rejecting Me

Chapter 5 (Part 1) - made of Sand

𝐿𝑢𝑘𝑎𝑠 𝐺𝑟𝑎ℎ𝑎𝑚 - 7 𝑌𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠

Lily (A Year Later)

What is happiness? Freedom? Love? Home?

You won't know what they are until you experience them.

I used to think it was far away, unreachable, and just plain stupid. How can a person who experienced so much pain move on and pretend like nothing happened?

Answer: You can't but you can.

One can't simply move on and pretend like nothing happened without having some type of reminder or feeling about the past but one can move on and use these feelings as ways to become better.

Better. Are you as confused? I can't explain better any better. Ha.

Better, to me, is someone who becomes what they want to be in a version of themselves that makes them content.

For example, a year ago, I would have taken a beating from someone who wanted to make me feel worthless. But now, I'll warn, wait, and then attack. It may not be a better version to others, but it makes me feel content.

"Hey." My heart skips a beat as Jeremy comes into my room and pecks my lips. I lock my phone and sit up.

"Are you writing again?" Jeremy motions to the phone in my hand.

I nod, "Therapist said to try it out."

"And it's making you feel... ?" He awaits my response.

"Weird. Corny. Stupid. But okay."

Jeremy raises an eyebrow.

"I like it."

Jeremy nods and brings me in for a hug. I hug him back and sigh when I smell his cologne. "I'm happy for you."

"If you knew I like it why'd you ask?" We pull away.

"Teasing you is the only thing that makes me wake up in the morning."

I hit his shoulder. "How was the hunt?" I ask him after a few moments of silence. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it but he wants to talk about it. With me. It always makes me giddy. Lord I know it's wrong but I love it when he wants to talk to me about his troubles.

"Its horrible," He admits, "The rogues decided to mess with the Red Dawn pack." I gasp. My hands start to sweat when my family comes into mind. And then Chase...

"Are you thinking about Chase?"

I focus back on him and nod in shame. It's not like I can help it. We are 'mates' after all. After I left, there were times when I experienced his pain but after five months, it was as if he disappeared. I feared he died but my wolf would have told me. Apparently the mate pool got weak enough because of how long we had been apart and my wolf decided to hide inside me after accepting I liked Jeremy.

"You know, it hurts but I know you can't help it. I swear if you were an ordinary girl I would have dumped you ages ago."

"Oh," I smirk and cross my leg over the other, lean back, and gaze at him with my best hooded eyes. "Could you really dump this?"

Jeremy gulps, "Damn you woman." He grabs my head and pulls me in for a kiss.

My door flies open.

"Hey Li-" Jesse stops and wiggles his pervert eyes. "I knew it."

Megan grins, "For real though. Every time I come in, y'all stray farther from God's light."

"My eyes became unvirginized the moment you guys started to date," Victor states.