2199 Day's - Bellarke Fanfic | ✔️

Chapter 4 - Memories

~Clarke's POV~

I keep my eyes locked with Echo's and give her a glare back.

"You could have stayed." I say placing my plate on my lap and picking up a piece of the hog meat and dropping it into my mouth.

"Then I would have missed out on all the fun." She says back picking up the knife and running the blade between her fingers. I go to speak again when Raven buts in, stopping Echo from throwing the knife potentially at me.

"Ok, I think it's time we all get some rest." She says standing up and clapping her hands together.

"You will have to sleep on the ground, if I had known you were coming I would have made beds." I say picking up Madi's empty plate and placing it on top of mine.

"It's fine, I will never get tired of sleeping under the stars." Says Harper flopping down on the soil near the fire and looking up through the leaves and into the night sky.

I send Madi off to the rover to sleep and find a nagging feeling in my stomach as I go to lay down next to Madi.

Bellamy

I look out of the rover door and into the forest surrounding the small fire and the others. I climb out of the rover and close the large steal door behind me leaving Madi trapped in the warm heat inside.

I start walking into the trees and past a small creek when I see him, sitting on a log at the edge of the cliff. The cliff I had described to him so many times, the cliff where I had sat and talked to him every, single day. No matter how sick I was or how hurt I was. I crawled my way here.

There were days where I couldn't stop vomiting from the contaminated water, but I still made my way here, only it was at different times because I was losing hope that he was alive and I though he wouldn't hear me anyway. That it wouldn't matter.

I walk up and out of the tree line and sit next to him on the log. We both sit in silence for a few minutes, looking over the cliff and into the scorched landscape left behind by the death wave.

"Did you hear me?" I ask, my voice small and tired.

I feel him stiffen next to me on the log before I watch his head move into a nod.

"Everything." I hear him say. I feel relief flush through my body knowing he could hear everything I was saying, everything I was telling him. We sit in silence for a few more minutes and the question is on the tip of my tongue but I can't get myself to say it.

"I couldn't say anything back because we couldn't work out how. I sat by that radio every damn day. Everyday just wanting to hear your voice." He says. His voice tired and weak.

I feel tears welling in my eyes and words just don't seem to want to form. I keep my eyes locked on him, his eyes locked on the sky above us,

where we were born, were we won't die.

"Say something" He mutters, his voice soft and croaky.

His eyes meet mine and I see the tears behind them, even if they aren't visible yet, there brewing. I feel the words but don't know what they are, so I just let them out hoping they will make sense.

"I love you." They just slip out. So, I decide to continue.

"I love the way your heart is so big Bellamy, how you always decide what's right for your people. How on that last day when I told you to use your brain, you used it in the best possible way. Using it to protect the others and most importantly yourself." I don't register what I have just said but I can tell he has.

I watch as single tear rolls down his left cheek and hit his jacket collar. The second tear, I have ever seen him shed, the first being after the bunker. After Dax had attacked us, when we made our first step from being leaders, to friends.

And now where here.

I feel my face flush red and feel another tear roll down my face and land on the log bellow us, our eyes still locked. I don't even bother wiping my face, I lean my face into the nook of his neck and wrap my arms around him.

I feel his arms latch onto my back and warmth fills my body. God, I've missed him.

"I love you too Clarke." I hear him whisper back, his chin on top of my head and his hot breath tickling my skin.

I snuggle deeper into him, wanting to feel all his warmth, 1299 days without him, I deserve double the amount with him.

I pull away and rest my head on his shoulder, gazing out over the scorched landscape in front of us. The silence is nice, but I still have so many questions, so many. Many I know he can't answer, but I know I have to ask them eventually.

"How was space?" I ask against his shoulder. I wait a few seconds and eventually he answers.

"I hated it." He says. "I marked everyday, and found myself loosing track after a while. I came down to earth to leave that place, to start a new life with Octavia. I never wanted to go back." I hear him say. His voice tired and weak.

I nod against his shoulder in understanding.

"How was earth?" I hear him ask back. I wonder for a second how earth really was, If I should tell him really how hard it was the first year and how beautiful it was after that, he was honest with me, I will be honest with him.

"The first year was intense." I say. I feel him stiffen against me, then I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me closer. He always knows what to do. I place my hand over my forearm and cover the scar with my jacket sleeve.

"I remember going days without food, It was hard. You guys took most of the food so I didn't have much but I made it last. On the 30th day I went outside and found it fine, so I stayed out there. The death wave had killed everything and there was nothing left." I say. I feel him squeeze lightly on my arm and smile.

We sit in silence for a few more minutes, nothing disturbing us, nothing wanting to harm us. It's perfect.

I feel Bellamy stiffen momentarily and wonder what he's thinking before he says it.

"I found your cell on the Ark." He says only loud enough for me to hear. I think back to what I used to draw, my only inspiration the thought of going down to earth and seeing the wonders in real life.

"They are so beautiful Clarke." I hear him say, his eyes locked on the landscape in front of us, the scorched hills falling and climbing in front of us.

"Not as good as the real thing." I say. A whisper almost thinking back to before Pramifaya.

"In some ways, they were better." I hear him say. I close my eyes and think back to camp, before I scorched over 300 worriers and before we put out the last fire. I think back to Lincoln and the horrible things we did, the moment I nearly killed Murphy or the sight of seeing Finn carried into camp, a knife in his chest.

The moment I nearly lost Bellamy.

"How do you forgive yourself?" I ask thinking to all the horrible things I have done.

"I don't...I cant." I hear him say pulling me closer to his chest, his voice barley a whisper.

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-RFRC