High (A Harry Potter Fanfiction--Dramione)

Hurt

The next few days Draco was beyond irritable. He couldn't remember a time when he had ever felt such a storm of emotions. He was angry with Granger for hurting him. He was angry at himself for being vulnerable enough to let her. He felt stupid for ever thinking that he was more than just a sweaty diversion for her. He felt disgusted with himself for ever entertaining the idea of dating her. For ever imaging those pathetic scenarios where they'd walk hand-in-hand by the lake and laugh together.

He also felt guilty for the hurtful things he said. He didn't mean them at all. He had only wanted to hurt her like she hurt him.

Hurt.

Most of all, he was hurt. That was the worst one. It was foreign to him and he didn't know how to respond to it. How was he just supposed to walk around among the normal people whose heart hadn't been broken by Hermione Granger and pretend like everything was fine?

He sat behind her in Arithmancy and tried with everything he had not to look at the back of her head. He'd see the curls tumbling down her back and his chest would tighten at the memory of his hands buried in those tresses as he kissed her, the green apple scent he had come to crave penetrating his senses. He willed himself not to glance at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall during meals. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing he was thinking about her should she happen to look up at him too. Not that she would.

He threw himself into working on the Vanishing Cabinet. That was the most important thing, after all and it kept him from thinking too much about Granger. It didn't help that the Cabinet was in the Room of Requirement and that every time he approached the seventh floor corridor he felt a pang at the idea that he used to meet Granger here. He used to look forward to coming to this room and losing himself in her soft skin and tight heat and sweet moans. But he couldn't let himself think about that. That was over.

Sitting in the Great Hall now, he felt drained. He'd barely been able to sleep since his "break up" with Granger. He had thought about asking the Room for the place they always met so he could sleep in the bed, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

He chanced a glance at the Gryffindor table but found no sign of Granger. Potter and Weasley were missing too, probably panting after her somewhere like a couple of badly trained slobbering mutts. Maybe carrying her books to the library for her, the whipped little sods.

Thinking of the library made him feel ill. It seemed so long ago, that day in the Restricted Section when he first fooled around with Granger, tasting her, hearing her moan his name. He wondered if he could Obliviate that memory away. Otherwise he'd never be able to go to the library again. He jabbed at his plate in frustration, causing the table to jolt slightly.

"For the actual sake of fuck, Draco, cut that stabby shit out. Some of us would prefer our robes weren't drenched in pumpkin juice. Shit stains," Blaise said haughtily.

"You've got a bug up your arse about something. What's wrong?" Theo asked.

Draco shook it off. "Nothing. I'm absolutely fucking fine." He took a deep swig of pumpkin juice and scowled at the Gryffindor table.

Theo followed Draco's gaze to the empty spot where Potter, Weasley, and Granger usually sat. "Yeah, the Golden Trio's still holed up in the Infirmary. You think Weasley'll snuff it? I hear he still hasn't woken up."

Draco turned to face Theo, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What the bloody fuck are you talking about?"

Blaise and Theo looked at each other with narrowed eyes. "You didn't hear? How is that even possible?" Blaise asked.