Death Comes in Threes

Chapter 3

 Sonny's death came at the worst time. He died three days before of one the happiest occasions of my life, my bat mitzvah. A bat mitzvah is supposed to be a celebration of becoming a Jewish adult. It's supposed to be joyful with not a touch of sadness. Unfortunately, that was impossible. I told my family on the Thursday before the occasion that they couldn't mention Sonny because I only wanted to be happy.

Zara got to be happy on her day, my friends got to be happy on their day. And then there was me, poor little me.

On the car ride to my big day, I could only tell myself to think happy thoughts.

My mom saw my bat mitzvah as a good thing to come right after Sonny's death. It got our mind off of him and we would be surrounded by family and friends. When she put it like that is sounded cheerful.

I remember getting all dolled up for my special day. My mom curled my hair, I got my purple dress on. I effortlessly slipped into my heels and put on the perfect amount of makeup, not too much or too little. It all fit together like a puzzle. Except, a part was missing. After the eventful day, I wouldn't come home to a happy house. I would come home to a house with a missing piece.

Two years ago, when we got back from Zara's bat mitzvah, I remember how content I felt. Sonny and Mima rushed to greet us and we had family friends over. We all sat together and watched the tv, still wearing Zara's bat mitzvah t-shirts she gave away. I felt happier than I'd really ever felt before.

When my party was over, I thought about how there were no more distractions. I had to face these feelings head on, which I really didn't like doing.

I walked up to my dad as I my family and I were cleaning the party room. "I'm going to have post-big-event party depression and death-of-dog depression. I don't want to go home, can we go to Barnes and Noble?" I asked. I love Barnes and Noble, it's crowded with my favorite things, books.

He sighed. "I wish, but we have to get home." Full of dread, I nodded. He gave me side hug and continued to clean up. I kept worrying about what I'd find when I got home.

When I finally did get home, I didn't find what I expected. I didn't find depression or sadness, I found life. Life was waiting for me and I couldn't let it go.

That night my family and I all sat in the living room, Mima included. We sat there and opened presents as a family. I felt content, not happy, but content with my life.

I wish I could say that would last for long. Sadly, life waited for me and life isn't always pleasant.

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