The Rise and Fall of Mary Colley

Chapter 12

Monday June 2nd, 1975. 8:19 PM

The concert had just just started not too long ago. I decided to talk to Thomas now. I couldn't wait any longer.

There was ample drugs available so I considered doing a line to build my nerve, then I thought maybe that'd be a bad idea. So I then considered smoking a little weed, to calm myself down. Then I decided that I had better do this with a clear mind. I didn't want him to think that it was only the substance talking. Besides, talking to him made me feel drunk.

I walked around backstage, trying to find him. I couldn't find him though. But I found the guy he was rooming with, the one that wouldn't let me in.

"Hey," I said to him loudly so he could hear over the music, "Where is Thomas?"

"What?" He said back loudly.

"Where is Thomas?" I said, almost yelling.

"What is your deal with Thomas?" He said laughing.

"I just need to talk to him. Do you know where he is?" This time, I was yelling.

"I'm pretty sure he's in the east hallway." He pointed in that direction. "He wanted to go somewhere a little more quiet."

"Thank you so much!" I said.

"Yep." He replied.

I walked in the direction he pointed to. I found a door marked 'East Hallway'. I pushed it open. The dimly lit hallway walls were made of cinderblocks painted black. I looked to my right, he wasn't there. I could feel my hope diminish slightly. I looked to my left and there he was, right outside the bathroom doors, sitting on the ground with a notebook in his lap. He was looking right at me.

I felt as though there were rocks in my stomach. My jaw was clenched tighter than a drum. My throat felt like it was swelling up. My bones were rattling and I felt weak. I could nearly cry.

"Thomas!" I said with a dumb smile on my face.

"Mary? Didn't Peter talk to you?" He responded.

"He did. I don't really care what Jimmy says though. I need you to listen to me, okay?"

He paused before saying, "Yeah. Okay."

"Thomas, I know this is stupid. I probably come off as an idiotic bitch sometimes. I'm sorry if I've ever done anything to make you think badly of me. The thing is, I can't help myself from being totally done in by you. I mean, I've been with several rockstars but yet I can't get over you. In fact, it's gotten to the point where I can't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you. I think you're the most spectacular person I know. And like I said, I know it's stupid. I know we've known each other for only days. But I simply don't care. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I had to tell you."

He was silent for a very long time. He just stared at me.

I was beginning to think he wasn't going to say anything back. I tried to say, "I'm sorry I said anything." but I think I was too quiet and I got too choked up for him to hear. I turned to walk away but my legs had turned to stone and they were so slow at this moment.

"Mary," he finally said. I stopped walking. I thought I might fall over. I turned around. I couldn't speak. So I waited for him to.

"Mary," he said again, "Don't walk away. I-I don't know exactly what to say. I'm glad you came and told me all this. Honestly, i had begun to feel quite heavily infatuated with you as well. I thought it was silly. I try to be a peaceful man, but when Jimmy told me he didn't want me to talk to you anymore, I felt like knocking him out-"

I started smiling at this.

He continued, "I've thought about you pretty much every second since we first met in the lobby in San Diego. You're unlike anyone I've ever met. It physically hurts me when I'm not with you."

I started tearing up at this.

I said, "Thomas what does this mean?"

"It means we should be together."

"But I don't understand how. The tour isn't even halfway over yet. We can't go on with everyone knowing we're not supposed to speak.  Truth be told, I don't even feel like finishing the tour."

"Then lets not finish the tour."

"Thomas, it's your job. You can't just leave."

"I can get a different job. It's not like it's that good of a job anyway. I want to try this with you. Our next stop is Tulsa, let's leave then. I'll leave a letter of resignation and we can stay behind in Tulsa."

"Tulsa? You want to stay behind in Tulsa?"

"We don't have to stay there. But yeah, I think we should do this sooner rather than later."

I started laughing. "Alright. Let's do it. Let's stay behind in Tulsa. God, we must be actually crazy."

"We're not crazy. We're just determined."

I hugged him tightly. He hugged me back. And then he kissed me. He kissed me in a way that I've never been kissed before. It was brief. It was sweet.

We both sat down on the ground. I said, "Man, my days as a groupie were pretty short lived."

"You've done it for two years, haven't you? Two years doesn't seem that short lived."

"I could've done it for ten more years. At least."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to stop you from doing what you love."

"Please, Thomas. Going from city to city with people you hardly know in order to sleep with guys who don't actually care about you is no way to live. You've saved me, truthfully."

"If you say so. Anyway, I wonder how your parents will react. I'm kind of an older guy, you met me while touring with a rock band. I'm a liberal atheist. Your strict Catholic parents will freak out."

I visually cringed. Right then, I could've came clean and told the truth. But I didn't.

"Yeah. Oh well. Let's not worry about that. Instead, let's figure out this whole Tulsa plan. We only have two days."

So we spent the next two hours talking about our fuzzy future, hand in hand, while listening to Led Zeppelin through the walls.

I couldn't think of a better way to spend time.