Waiting, and Waiting

Avoidance's

 And so throughout the night we talked and talked reliving both our distant pasts, many painful memories, good, and bad. We walked around the beach til the sun rised high above the horizon, casting many arrays of golden light upon the seas. Clouds bordered the outer rims of the skies and the last reminiscences of the night walked out of sight. 

"I guess staying wasn't so bad after all,wait oh darn I forgot to make Steven breakfast" I said hastily hurrying up and running to the beach house. 

Lapis just sat in her place, watching me run further and further away to the house on the hill.

I burst through the door, luckily Steven was still asleep so I figured I had enough time to make him breakfast.

While making breakfast for him, Amethyst and Garnet came in and greeted me.

"So P. whatcha cookin' up for the Steven?"

"Just waffles and eggs" i replied quickly.

"Ehhhhh I'll just be on the couch for now" Amethyst said

Steven woke up just before breakfast was done, Lapis also walked in later on.

While serving Steven I could feel Lapis glancing at me, I paid no attention to it because I didn't want to address what had happened last night. Somehow Steven sensed the mood and coughed awkwardly when he noticed I was staring at her. Breaking the awkward silence with his voice he spoke up quietly.

"Ah.. Yes Steven?" I asked him.

"Oh um Pearl could you pass syrup?"

"Sure Steven" i chirped.

I sat down on the couch by the window gazing at the ocean with my legs sprawled on the remaining part of the seat, someone sat down next to me, I knew who it was, I just didn't glance back. 

Amethyst talked quietly to Garnet in the background 

"You don't think something happened between the two of them right?" she asked quietly

"When you have future vision you're bound to know" Garnet replied 

"Heh yeah..." Amethyst coughed out a bit mumbling something barely audible to hear.

"I'll be gone on a mission with Amethyst, I'll be back Pearl" Garnet announced tugging Amethyst at her side.

Finishing his breakfast, Steven also spoke "I'll be going to Connie's today, is that okay Pearl?"

Breaking my thought of concentration, "What was that? Oh.. Um Sure Steven"

He walked out of the door a few moments later and I watched him walk away.

"Pearl" a voice spoke from behind me.

"Pearl," it spoke again, "I know you've been avoiding the subject" she spoke softly casting a glance at me.

I looked back and said "I'm not avoiding it, it's just strange because the beginning of last night you looked like you wanted to kill me, and now you're actually wanting to talk to me. It's just crazy Lapis, from all of the people I've seen change, you're the one who changed the most and the one I'd least expect because of what happened" I sighed "It just takes time to get used to whatever this is" I spoke at last.

"That's just how it is with me" she said folding her legs up and resting her head on her arms gazing out the crystal clear window. And she spoke "Look" so I looked. "Pearl.... I don't blame you for what happened" she started. "If anything I was just an angered gem who was trapped in a mirror who couldn't get out, It wasn't your fault for not getting me out. Like you said, you didn't know if I was a sentiment gem or a corrupted one. So I don't blame you but can I atleast ask, how come you didn't do anything?" she finished

Pearl glanced back and forth between the ocean full of many depths and Lapis, she finally spoke up after a long silence had past. "I actually tried doing many things, although I doubt you would've been able to see them"

"Why is that. What do you mean i wouldn't have been able to see them?" Lapis retorted in a slightly irritated voice.

There it was, that same tone, although that tone had many overtones and undertones and could've been interpreted in many ways. It still had an overall bitter tone but what was really underlying was sorrow, desperation, and the feeling of being trapped. I could feel my cheeks heating up out of embarrassment so I tried speaking as hastily as possible

"What i'm saying is that I tried many ways to get you out, I really wanted to take you to get healed by Rose, but I couldn't because she'd take me away from you, and you were the only thing that had kept me sane throughout my life and now that i'm talking to you now it's even more thrilling,exciting, and scarier, because even if I've lived long enough, I still feel hollow inside" Pearl said.

"How come you feel hollow? From what i've heard you sound like you've lived so many thrilling lifetimes" Lapis replied.

"This might sound peculiar but to be honest Lapis, I don't really know why I couldn't have saved you later, but if things turned out different, maybe this wouldn't have happened, and you, let alone wouldn't have been having this conversation with me because it's confusing to find out where exactly do we stand towards each other. And it's honestly painful to find the one person who kept you sane throughout all those lifetimes lived, even Rose couldn't save me regardless of how many times I told myself I'd live and die for her every time. Yes, I treated you like a tool for the time being, Yes I regret not realizing sooner that you were sentimental, Yes I completely regret never being able to successfully get you out. But just please listen, I, in all my lifetimes lived, have never found any other gem as truly as remarkable as yourself Lapis Lazuli, you probably don't remember our real Homeworld, but I still do" Pearl said before trying to leave from the burdens of hell she just created.

Lapis was speechless at Pearl's explanation, she didn't really know what to say, the words jumbling up in her mind like a librarian's books knocked off the shelves in a mess, but the words scorching her mind that couldn't even begin to be said was irritating. There wasn't enough time to say them all. So Pearl walked off and went somewhere to clear her thoughts. And she watched her go, with all the things she said that were true, Lapis Lazuli has never felt something tug at her heart so tirelessly, precisely this could've been the beginning of something great, or something gone terribly  wrong.