drunken conversations | myg + jhs

7.4

T H E    M O R N I N G   A F T E R

I woke up with my head pounding, confusion clouding my mind, trying to recall what happened last night and why am I in an unfamiliar room.

I snapped out of my train of thought when someone shifted by my foot—and there was min yoongi all snuggly on the edge of the bed, his upper half on the bed while his lower sat on a chair. I looked at the floor and there I could see ready made hangover foods.

I chuckled softly, a big smile spread across my face "how childish can he be?" I stared at him, taking in every outline, every detail of his face and body, etching it at the back of my mind because who knows? I might leave and never come back in his life again.

and if I do so, I'll miss him so much.

"yoongi-hyung." I whispered and moved closer to him "I dont know what you love about me, I dont know if youre serious, I dont know if you're sincere but here's the thing—i'm not meant for you. I can never bring you satisfaction and I'm a very selfish person. I hate the same series you love, I dont have the same fashion sense as you, Im a morning person, I cant stand the rain—you see, we all have these contrasting personalities/characteristics and so little similarities." I lightly traced his jaw, cheeks, eyebrows and nose

"and heres the thing, I learned how to love them. I learned how to love them as much as how I love you. because I know that in this way, even if you're not mine, I can still feel that we're together—that you're here with me. Even though our heartbeats dont match, even thought i'm not the last person in your mind before you sleep, I could fool myself and think that you do so.

I love you to that extent hyung. I love you more than myself. and thats why you cant be with someone like me. I took the time of loving every part of you that I never did have time for myself. you cant love someone who doesnt appreciate himself, someone who's selfish, someone who's possessive. I dont want you to feel strangled and trapped in the relationship. Im sorry hyung."

and what I did next is probably the only thing I needed to seal my words, I leaned forward and pecked his forehead, nose, cheek and (hesitatingly) pecked his lips.

I leaned back and whispered, "I love you too hyung."