Chasing Trails

Chapter 4: The Crone

Thank you for staying with me - Sweetness, Lela

     I place the folded praying cloth under my bed and walk towards the door. My hands are wiping off the little bit of tear that's just about to trail itself off my cheek. I take the sleeves of my shirt and used it to wipe the rest of my face. I breathed in and made sure that I can talk without my voice cracking before I go through the door. The rest of the girls in the orphanage had formed a circle in the middle of the living room and Kakak saved me a spot right next to her. Che Mah is not here yet so everyone talked among themselves. Kakak is comforting another girl by rubbing her back because she is crying. It is a normal sight for us so we don't stare.

     My eyes trailed around the room. The walls are white with frames of pictures decorating it. Most pictures are us doing our activities around the orphanage. There are also several pictures of honourable people grinning widely as they hold big mock cheques for donation. I moved my hands to my sides as I leaned back my body slightly. I throw a smug smile to those pictures. I am not fooled by those cheques with big numbers on it, these pickpockets only come during election time -and they bring a string of press and cameras with them. This kind of people is what Ibu used to write about.

     My eyes move to the only cupboard in the living room. It's filled with smaller squares of photographs of parents and their adoptees. Most of the girls were smiling in the picture but some of them have an uncertain look on their face. I guess it is just really hard for them to imagine a life outside the orphanage during that moment. I hope they are really happy though. I was counting the number of tiles on the stairs when the main door creaks open. Che Mah's here. She's wearing a red blouse today.

     All the girls go silent except for the sobbing girl. Kakak is still speaking to her in a lowered voice as she pat the girl's shoulders. Her pink gown's collars are wet with tears. I quickly straighten myself up when Che Mah moved to the middle of the circle. Everyone stand in a circle as usual and she nears us one by one. I hate this session the most. She would hug us one by one and tell us to stay strong. Kakak said it's because she's a divorcee and it made her think that she's living in a man's world. I don't really get that because I had always had Ibu and she is a superwoman. I am not sure in what world I am living in now but all I know is Ibu's killer is still out there on a prowl. When it is my turn to be hugged, I avoid Che Mah's eyes. She holds me by my shoulders and I could see from the corner of her eyes that she's smiling.

     I don't know what to do but I want her to quit touching me on my shoulders, so I slowly look up. I immediately regret that decision. The way she stares squarely into my soul makes me feel violated. It's like there is a thin layer of ice waiting to be cracked open to reveal a bottomless lake of black. Her mouth is still stitched into a smile.

     "Bunga, stay strong okay?"

     I simply nod. I would do anything to keep her eyes off me. She moves in closer to hug me. Her arms feel like it's longer that it should be as it wrap around my shoulders. Then what I feared happens. Her right hand rubs my back, and squeezes my hip for a moment.

     "I love you, okay?"

     I freeze. It's always like this. Che Mah does this to some other girls too. Kakak and the other staffs would go all quiet and distant when I tell them about it. I guess it's just how things are around here. But it felt wrong. It reminds me of what Ibu had always told me before she went to the other side -to not let anybody touch my body without my permission. There is a breath of relief when Che Mah's hands slip off my shoulders. That doesn't make me feel better. Che Mah moved on to Kakak and hugged her. When it's the girl's turn, Che Mah stoops down and talks to her for a bit. It was a muffled conversation but I could tell that she's being superficially nice to her. She then proceeds to hug her like she had done to everybody else.

********

     Kakak's face is cloudy but she still goes about and does her task in the orphanage's kitchen as usual. She takes a basketful of vegetables from the fridge and rinses them. After that, she passes them to the other staff working in the kitchen. Her face sours even more when she sees a flash of red near the kitchen's doorway. The 'crone' is here. Che Mah smiles proudly as she eyes today's lunch preparation. Kakak lowers her gaze in fear as she slices some chillis that will be pounded into sambal. As if she's able to sniff the fear that is oozing out of Kakak, Che Mah walks to her and holds Kakak's arm.

     "Be careful honey, the little girl is a special order. Don't you dare mess this one up, or you and        the other children will pay the price."

      Kakak nods silently. Only God knows the kind of knot her stomach has twisted itself into.

*Authors Note*

Are you mad? Well, that's good. It means you still have a kind heart <3

An amazing shout out to NoahDahBoa and girlsontop for their constructive criticisms <3 (^0^)/

How was the chapter? Tell me about it in the comment section (^_^) Kind, constructive criticisms are always welcomed (^0^)/

If you like this chapter, please vote. <3 (>///<) I would really cherish it.  

Vocabulary:

Kakak - Big sister

Dear readers, please consider this an appreciation gift <3 I will be back on the two weeks per chapter schedule for the next one (^_<)

A shout out to @NoahDahBoa for the constructive comment given. It drives me to write more. 

- *Hugs* Lela

© 2017 Lela Rentaka