A Matter Of Choice

Chapter 16: Isabella Julienne Collins

Isabella’s POV

Being Isabella is a hard task. She’s very far from who I really am. Her personality is the perfect mixture of everything. I think Darius specifically designed her to be a person that Prince Daniel Beron can fall for.

It has only been three days since classes started. Still, I was uneasy about everything around me. Sometimes, I still have to remind myself that I am no longer Heather. I am Isabella Julienne Collins.

“How was school?” Edward asked. We sat on the couches around the living room table and started chatting about our experiences. I was surprised of the question that I didn’t know what to answer. Fortunately, Nat answered him.

“Our teacher made us sing.” She said. “My classmates sang lots of beautiful songs but I only know one. Teacher made me sing in front all by myself when she realized I was only lip-synching the songs.”

My heart skipped a beat. Edward and Luke froze. Fiona, on the other hand, moved towards where we are as soon as he heard what Nat said.

“What did you sing?” Asked Luke. We know the song, of course, but Luke only made sure that it was the same as what we are thinking.

“The Valley Song.”

The Valley Song is known to be composed by a rebel like us. It was popular to kids at our camp and I don’t think Cielan kids even know about it. I felt Edward, who was beside me, jump.

“What happened?” Fiona asked Natalie, curiously. She stopped flipping over the pages of the magazine she was reading and grew more interested about what had happened. Like us, she might be alarmed, too.

“My teacher wasn’t really impressed. She made me sit at the backmost part of the classroom and even prohibited me to go out for recess.” She pouted as she told us about it.

Fiona sighed. She patted Natalie’s back to lessen the kid’s depression. “Next time, Nat, you’ll know better.”

That wasn’t really a good advice, but if I was Fiona, I couldn’t have put it better. Natalie has a lot to learn, still. I guess she isn’t that ready yet.

It was not the way she sang that infuriated the teacher. It was the song. Cielans have little knowledge about rebels’ lives, cultures and ways, but it turns out that they know about the song. Most probably, they heard it from a rebel kid they had captured before. Unfortunately for us, the facts they get from captives are immediately printed on national newspapers.

“How was yours, dear?” Fiona asked me. Unsure, I pointed at myself and gave her a questioning look. She nodded in reply. I’ve been thinking for quite a while that I didn’t even notice that she was done asking both Luke and Edward.

“Fine, I guess.” I replied, lying. Because of all the eyes ogling at me, school turned out to be so creepy, which was clearly not what I had expected it to be.

“And Daniel Beron?”

“Excuse me, what?” Did I just hear Daniel’s name? Did Fiona just ask how he was?

“I asked you how Daniel was.”  She said.

“Oh, yes, he’s absolutely fine.” I lied. I actually don’t know the right thing to say that I replied with the first thing that came up to my mind. I don’t care about Daniel. I’m not Prince Daniel Harvard-Beron’s keeper.

She nodded as if she was contented with my answer. I let go of a sigh.

Problematic and desperate, I turned to her again. I really have to tell her something. I’m afraid, if I won’t have the opportunity to discuss what I feel with Fiona, I will go crazy. Being someone I really am not bothers me that I couldn’t sleep in peace. One thing more, I really feel that Heather isn’t around anymore. It seems to me that Lucas and Kyle already forgot about who they really are. I do think they are enjoying being Edward and Luke. I hate that.

I don’t want to change. Maybe I’m afraid of change.

I told Fiona that I want to talk to her in private. Just the two of us and no one else. I want a heart-to-heart talk. I don’t want anyone to meddle with my business.

“I want to tell you something. I…” started, but the words I came up with a while ago failed to come out of my mouth. The heck?! I was ready! What is happening to me?

I started from the top.

And again.

And again.

And again.

“What?” Fiona asked me. “Stay calm, Isabella, I won’t bite.”

I breathed in. “I don’t want to be Isabella anymore.”

“What???” Fiona looked like she was about to go hysterical. What I had just blurted out seemed to be an impossible thing to do. “You know Darius, don’t you? You know what he’ll do with you!”

“I don’t care if he leaves me nowhere. I don’t want to be in this situation. I want to be myself.” I protested, even standing up. “Please, Fiona, do something.”

I didn’t notice tears running down from my cheeks. Yes, I cry. At times. Rarely. I tend to show courage in front of Darius just for him not to leave me alone in the middle of the forest and for him to trust me. I have no one to lean on. Although there are lots of people in our camp, I don’t have anyone to call family.

I’m weak. I’m nothing.

I am not Isabella Julienne Collins. I am Heather.

Heather. Last name, unknown.