my feet dragged me down the hall and towards my locker, i felt several eyes on me as i reached my own metal compartment. my fingers unlocked it and i turned to meet eyes with jessica davis and sheri holland who were staring at me from the other side of the corridor.
"what the fuck do you want?" i exclaimed and they both raised they eyebrows whilst giving me shocked looks. "kelsey, what the hell?!" jessica frowned as she made her way towards me. i slammed the door shut with a groan as i remembered that i had done the same thing on monday and pushed past her.
"kelsey! please!" she begged behind me but i continued walking to advanced maths. "kelsey, just let me explain..." she mumbled and i turned back to her, a cold laugh escaped my lips as i stared at her. "apologize? you were my best fucking friend and you were sleeping with justin, my boyfriend! i hope you're happy, i really hope so because i was in love with him and you knew it! so go to hell and next time your boyfriend needs somewhere to crash then answer him!" i scoffed and walked out of the double doors instead.
i made my way to the parking lot and ignored jess and sheri's voices calling for me to come back. i slipped into my car and threw my bag into the back seat. i leaned into the car, closed my eyes and let the tears stream down my cheeks.
---
i sat at dinner that night with my parents and dragged my fork across the lasagna that my mother had heated up from last night. "sweetie, we wanted to talk to you." my father said and i looked up to lock eyes with him. "we're worried about you, baby..." my mother trailed off as she saw my puffy red eyes.
"not you guys too." i groaned and dropped the fork. "we just don't want things to go like last time so we booked an appointment with mrs. dempsey and she wants you to start taking your meds again." my mother finished and my father placed a plastic bottle filled with round pink pills as if this had been rehearsed.
"oh..." i mumbled and picked up the bottle in my hands. "we love you, kelsey...we just don't want to lose you again." my father reassured and reached out to squeeze my hand.
"how many a day?" i asked and they smiled at me. "two at every meal." my mother explained and i gulped as i realized i would have to take them to school.
"can i go to bed?" i questioned but i didn't wait for their answer as i stood up and went up to my bedroom. i slammed the door shut behind me and dropped my body onto my bed as usual.
i blinked away some tears and picked up my phone, i dialed clay's number and bit my lip as he picked up. "hey, kels. what's wrong?" he asked and i started to sob as i explained to him how my parents wanted me to take the pills again and how much i hated justin foley.
clay added jeff to the call and we talked for hours until my mom came and turned off the light signaling that it was time for me to get some rest. i hung up and picked up the plastic bottle that my mother had left on my bedside table.
i wondered what would happen if i took them all and just ended it all. i wondered how my parents would react, how clay and jeff would react and as much as i hated thinking it...i wondered how justin would react.
i was falling for his stupid smile and his stupid eyes again. i was falling for his strong arms and his stupid coffee scent. i was falling for the stupid boy that broke my heart and didn't give a shit about me.
i fell asleep thinking about how screwed up i was.
