i clenched the box of badges in my hand as i handed them out in the hall. i had decided to help courtney with her campaign since marcus was a dick who didn't deserve to win and i needed something to keep me occupied.
"what are you doing, kelsey?" he asked me as our fingers touched, i dropped the badge into his warm hands and continued to walk down the hall. "kelsey!" he groaned and started to jog by my side, "fuck, kelsey, just slow down. i need to talk to you!" he exclaimed but i ignored him and handed the badges to a few freshman boys that were wiggling their eyebrows and winking at me.
"i get that you're mad...actually no i don't but never mind that. i just...i didn't know that you loved me, kelsey. i thought that you were sleeping with monty or zach so i..." i stopped and cut him off like i had before. "you thought i was a fucking slut so you decided that it would be okay to do the same? news flash, foley, i wasn't sleeping with anyone." i muttered and shook my head.
"i was in love with you too, kelsey. i had sex with jess because i felt betrayed!" he exclaimed.
"if you truly loved me then you would've talked to me first." i replied and pushed the box into his hands before walking into advanced history and leaving him once again in the middle of the hall whilst everyone watched us.
i sat next to alex standall in the back row and started to doodle continuously as the teaches droned on about whatever we were learning. my grades had dropped a lot since the beginning of the year, since justin.
"are you okay?" alex asked and dropped his head next to my own so our teacher wouldn't see his lips moving. "not really." i mumbled. alex knew everything, he had found me crying in an alley behind the crestmont cinema several times including one of the worst days of my life.
"do you want to talk about it?"
"nope."
"will you talk about it?"
"yes."
"i don't want you to relapse, kelsey. you're one of my friends and i don't want that to ever happen again." he whispered.
"i don't want it to happen again but whenever i'm around justin...he just ticks me off and i feel so screwed up around him." i complained and alex wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
"justin does that to people." he joked and i burst out laughing for no reason because the joke wasn't even funny but it felt so good and true and real to laugh so it didn't matter that we got kicked out. we were both laughing over nothing and it was good. i truly loved laughing with alex.
---
i frowned down at the two pink pills in my hand that i had to take since it was lunch time and unless i was about to skip a meal, which i wouldn't because i hadn't eaten breakfast, there was no way out.
"what is that?" monty asked and he slid onto the bench by my side. i shrugged and swallowed them before they could see them again. "are you taking drugs?" zach asked and flashed a worried look at me. i shook my head and handed him the plastic bottle.
"are these anti-depressants?" he questioned and i nodded, "why are you taking them?" monty frowned as well and reached out to clasp my hand in his own but i pulled it away and picked up my burrito.
"my parents are just..." i started but zach finished my sentence as he something clicked in his head. "they're worried, that's why you're seeing my mom again. look, kelsey, i don't want you to stop being friends with us again. i don't want you to drift away like you did...last time." i bit my lip as they both tensed up when he said last time.
"who told you?" i mumbled and he sighed. "i saw my moms file on her desk last night and..." i scoffed and stood up. "you read my private conversations?!" i exclaimed making everyone's eyes drop onto our table.
"kelsey..." he muttered and monty flashed me an apologetic look. "fuck you both!" i grabbed my bag and stormed out of the cafeteria, not remembering that zach had my pills and i hadn't eaten either.
i heard footsteps running behind me and someone screaming my name but the anger overcame me and i ignored them as the tears streamed down my face for the second day in a row. "kelsey! stop!" he yelled out but it was too late.
