"I didn't say anything," I spat. My face was made of stone. My body was frozen. I couldn't think. Shawn got off of me and sat up, making me sit up as well.
"You said 'I love you'," he whispered, eyes large.
"Well if you knew what I said, why'd you ask what did I say?!" I yell, starting to get up. I run away from problems. I don't fix them. I make them worse.
"Wait! I want to talk to you," Shawn said, following me. I started to open the door and walk down the hall, Shawn followed behind.
"Okay. Talk," I say, still facing forward. I walk down the stairs, listening to him.
"What's your deal? You just told me you loved me and now you won't even face me and listen."
"I am listening! I just wanted water. Chill," I say, making up and excuse.
"This is probably the first time you told me your feelings. Why are you shutting me out again? You've done this before," he says, sitting on the island counter. I grab a water bottle from the fridge and open it.
"If anything, I've told you more than I tell my family. If that doesn't show anything on how I've been 'shutting you out', what does?" I take a long sip, trying to drown out the noise of his reaction.
"You're right. Maybe I should live with the fact that one of the closest people to me is still uncomfortable around me to tell me anything. This isn't the way I wanted to say it, but I love you too. I have for a long time," he spat. He jumped off the black granite counter and glared at me for a second. He walked up the stairs, shaking his head.
I look at him as he walks back up the stairs. I slowly take the water off of my face and look around for a moment. With the water bottle still in hand, I walk over to the large windows.
It was dark out, around 1 in the morning. I looked ahead, and rain clouds were approaching the large city. I watch as the waves slowly jump up and down, then crash onto the sand.
Shawn loves me? I thought I should've seen this coming. I probably did, but I chose to ignore it. What was I supposed to do now? I told him my dreaded past, and that I love him, but then turned away.
Conjuring up a plan, I decided to walk back up the stairs. I approached the bedroom door, and raised my hand to knock on it. I heard his voice, and waited. Slowly, my hand went down, and my head reached for the door.
"Yeah. So, Europe is booked? Okay, what about America? Canada? Okay. Well the album will drop and..."
I realized it was a call from Andrew. I lightly sighed and raised my hand again. Waiting a moment, and hear my name from the other side.
"Athena? What about her? Oh, is that a problem? Maybe we want some privacy. I'm not going to bring her up. Not even in interviews. Because I want her to feel safe! Non-violated! She doesn't deserve the life I'm living. She doesn't know what my job consists of."
My hand was raised down again. I didn't know what his job consists of?! How hard could it be?! 'Oh boohoo I'm a hot and famous boy who travels for a living and had millions of followers. My life is so hard!' My ass.
As I started to step backwards, the floor creaked. For a fancy and expensive house, you'd think, of all things, the freaking floor wouldn't make noises.
"Hold on, Andrew."
Shit.
The door flew open and I was still in the doorway. Silence filled the think air.
"I- I'm-" I cleared my throat and remembered my plan.
"Im sorry. I am shutting you out. I know I should stop, but you have to know where I come from. I didn't grow up rich . When you throw money at me; buying me dinner, taking me places, it makes me feel like I don't deserve it. I was always keeping to myself after my sister left for college two years ago. And after-" I paused, hoping he'd get what I was referring to.
"I had to hold it. Do you know what my mom would've done if I told her that night? She would've thrown me out and fend for myself. She's strip me of my dignity and leave little shed of love from her. So yeah, I'm uncomfortable, but I'm trying. I'm wounded, but I'm healing, but remember, scars always remain."
Water stained my face. I tried not to cry, but obviously that failed. Shawn walked over, and quickly scooped me up into a hug. For once, I was the one being squished. I was the one who received the hug. I was the once holding on by that string about to break.
I was the one that wasn't uncomfortable by his touch anymore. If anything, I was in a sanctuary.
With his arms still wrapped around me, he scooped me up into his face, one hand on my cheek. His lips moved with caution, and mine moved with his. Our heads filled up any space left, leaving no room for air.
He broke our faces first, my forehead rested against his. My lungs begged for air, and I obliged. Taking deep breathes, I couldn't help but smile.
"Athena," he whispered.
"Shawn," I replied, breathlessly.
"Do you want to be..." he paused.
"More than friends?" He finished.
"Due to the fact of us kissing more than once and actually liking it, I think that it would be acceptable to become more than friends," I say. He smiled and chuckles lowly. He kissed me once more, then squeezed my waist tighter.
"Athena May Jones, I here by announce you as my girlfriend. And you shall refer to me as your boyfriend," he smiled at the word 'girlfriend.'
"What about the press? Andrew?" The words I spoke reminded me of the phone call he just took a mere few minutes ago.
"Don't worry about them. I'll keep you away from the press. I promise," he kissed the side of my face, right above my cheek.
Minutes passed and we stood there, embraced and warm. He eventually picked me up and carried us to his room, where we both fell atop the bed.
We didn't fall asleep, though.
