The Loneliness of Distant Beings

Chapter Five

Pandora makes me go out with her to this Captain Kat thing, some kind of community meeting or briefing that's bound to be a waste of time, but Cain is out working and Dad has Put His Foot Down. Dad doesn't really do this a lot but when he does he generally gives you a heads-up by announcing that he's doing it. He'll actually say, 'I'm putting my foot down' and then go back to doing whatever it is he's doing, like watching something on the screens or whatever, and this is exactly what he's doing tonight and why he will absolutely not be drawn into what he calls Captain Kat's Propaganda Machine. Yeah, Dad's a real revolutionary for about five minutes until he goes back to playing Football Manager on his pod. Anyway, Pan is Captain Kat's number one fan so before I can say too much about it (and probably mostly because I'm in a crazy good mood for my own personal reasons) we're on our way to the drill hall.

While we're walking people keep stopping to paw at Pan, going on about her baby belly like it's the first time anyone ever got knocked up. People also make jokes about me being next and I swear I could retch; I could actually vomit to think of that being me. But anyway this isn't about any of that, it's about how when we get there the place is all dark and horribly cold and the only light is on the stage and there are a bunch of chairs that Maintenance have laid out in rows and we sit and shiver a little and wait for Captain Kat's pronouncements and there are cameras setting up and Pan waves at someone because he's a friend of Cain's, some dark-haired guy who works for Cultural. And then he starts coming over to us, grinning and coiling a cable round his hand and elbow and then I'm thinking, wait, maybe he's . . . but then it's too late.

'Hey, Pandora,' he says, doing that thing some Spanish-speaking guys do with their Rs. They exchange pleasantries and just general sounds for a moment before he says, 'I don't suppose you've seen my brother?' before scanning the crowd.

And I feel my skin prickle while Pan says, 'No, not for ages actually. How is Domingo?'

He smiles. 'The same. Follows his own path. He missed band practice last night because apparently he felt sorry for some sick girl at Med and took her home.' He laughs, and I'm not quick enough to stop staring at him, and Pan clocks it in the corner of her eye. 'He's always playing the hero for someone or other,' he adds, and right at that moment I notice that he has the exact same teeth as his brother, strong and totally white but with one slightly turned the wrong way.

'You were in Med last night weren't you, Seren?' says Pan.

I think fast. 'Yeah, but I . . . I didn't see anything strange.' After that the best tactic seems to be to ignore them both or act like I've suddenly become unbelievably interested in something over the far end of the hall where some people from West are just filing in, looking bored and cold. The fact of the matter is I'm actually thinking about Domingo, about how he obviously thought I was a freak and felt sorry for me, about who he plays the hero for and why, and all these other thoughts that kill my mood somewhat, to say the least.

Anyway, so Domingo's brother says a bit more and then takes the hint and goes back to his camera, and once he's gone Pan sets about staring at the side of my face until she realises I'm not going to look back at her and says, 'Well?'

And I'm like: 'Well what?'

'Why did you go all weird just then?'

'I didn't.'

She studies me through half-closed eyes, then says, 'You were with Domingo Suarez last night!'

'I wasn't!'

'And now you're denying it, which makes it even weirder.'

I shake my head. 'Whatever, man.' But I know I'm burning and no amount of turning away is going to hide it.

Pan takes this as a foregone conclusion and shakes her head, face screwed up like I just confirmed every bad thing she ever thought about me (which is a lot of bad things). 'What would Ezra think if he heard you'd been hanging around with another guy?'

'I have no idea, and I couldn't care less.'

'I don't understand you. I just don't. You got given one of the best Unions of anyone I know, and all you do is cause problems for yourself.'

And right now is when the music starts and everyone who's here, which is actually not that many people, slumped around the chairs in their jackets and hats, sits up a little and looks at the stage. Captain Kat walks out, holding her arms up for just a second until she hears the pretty pitiful patter of applause that goes around, and following her, sure enough, here comes Ezra, supposed love of my life, looking smug and full of it just like always, and Jonah, looking completely baffled by the world in general.

'Hey.' Emme arrives next to me, nudges me, waves at Pan. 'What'd I miss?'

'Nothing yet.'

It's not like there was even any reason at all to come down here when the whole thing is going out on every screen on board and echoing on every sound system too but look, whatever, Pan has this thing about being present for things, call it a sense of occasion or something. But in this particular instance she turns out to have made a good call.

'We are now very close to the planet known as Huxley-3,' says Captain Kat. 'It has two moons, circles K-dwarf star Huxley and seems to have some form of atmosphere. For this reason, we at Command have decided that we will have to make an unscheduled stop in its orbit so that it can be investigated.'

This is the point at which everyone who has bothered to make the trip down here starts shuffling around and looking at each other, and Pan makes this grab for my hand that kind of ends up on my elbow.

'Seren,' she says, and yeah, I guess I even feel a little something too, though I'm not entirely sure what. This has never happened before so there is no reference point, just a whole mass of confusing thoughts about how it will be to be so close to a planet and what it will all mean when my whole life has just been basically one huge status quo of vast black space.

'We will make ninety orbits while tests are carried out.' That's when Captain Kat temporarily crushes a lot of the hopes most of us didn't even realise we had: 'For safety reasons there will be no non-essential excursions to the surface at present, but the viewing rooms will be open twenty-four hours a day during this period, so I suggest you make the most of this exhilarating opportunity to see a real planet first-hand.'

And here's the thing – make of this what you will, but even after all that, I'm still thinking about Domingo.

More coming later this week for Seren and Dom! If you enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to vote – thanks.

The Loneliness of Distant Beings has been published, but to get it in front of as many people as possible I'm posting it to the lovely Wattpad community. The plan is to have it all up before the publication of my second book - The Glow of Fallen Stars - in August.

If you can't wait to read the ending, or just love the feel of real pages, then you can purchase Loneliness from your local bookshop or online retailers!