Forgetting to Remember

You never know what it’s like to be alone in the vast confines of your mind. You don’t know what it’s like until you are truly and utterly alone. There is no human, no brain, no body, and no question. You are alone and empty. 

The mind seems full of pain and hurt and too many feelings to describe but really, it’s just empty and dead inside if you’re alone. When thoughts stop, they die. But when all thoughts end there is nothing. And among nothing there are infinite possibilities. Nothing can be anything and everything. A barren mind is limitless.

You don’t know what it’s like to feel nothing. We spend our lives feeling everything with such passion and vigor that to not feel is as painful as rejection or loneliness or anger. You don’t know what it’s like to not exist. 

You don’t know what it’s like to go through this. 

But I do.

I have the words buried in the empty confines of my mind, leaking through the cracks that remain as battle scars. Who could ever find words to define “nothing”? Perhaps a dictionary can, but I can’t. I won’t.

Being in a coma is being a part of nothing. The entire world is white. 

White is not a color, but more so, the absence of color. The scenery was an absence or everything. Because there I was, seeing, witnessing, feeling, remembering, reliving but not existing.

As nothing is limitless, so is the human imagination-the human mind. From nothing forms something and with that knowledge we are free. But we still start with nothing. Because we are nothing. 

We are nothing without thoughts and words and people and memories.