Empty rooms

Suicide

Trigger warning: Suicide note

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Suicide

I am tired

I want to go to sleep

Sleeping forever sounds a little nice

I can wake up in another world

Start fresh as a tiny infant

Maybe a boy this time.

Maybe He'll be everything I was not.

Get all A's

Be a good kid

Be a happy kid

But I am here for a little longer.

I call to my next life

"I'll be there in 5 minutes, hold on."

I don't get good grades

On this paper, I will give myself an A

The first one I've gotten in a long time

I wasn't a good kid.

I swallowed pill after pill to die.

I wasn't a happy kid

I cut my arms and legs to feel something

Maybe I won't be such a disappointment in my next life

Maybe friend after friend won't start to hate me

I don't know why she hates me.

Maybe I won't be such a screw up in my next life

Maybe I will be able to focus and be successful

I don't know why I am so messed up

Maybe I won't be so closed up in my next life

Maybe I will be able to talk to people

I don't know why I am so bad with trust

All of these maybes

The only certain thing is this blade

And these pills

The only thing certain is death at this point

So I go to the bathroom

Fold up this paper

I slit my arms and take my pills

I lay down and let myself sleep.