Crush/boyfriend imagines

"I love you so much"

     Darkness invaded the room, the light of the tv was the only light in the room, it bounced onto the walls and creates a grayish shade onto the smooth painted wall. Tucked into the crease of Shawn's arm, I shield my eyes from the terrifying screams coming from the television. I feel Shawn's body shake with laughter and I just grip his shirt tighter. My eyes squint shut as the loud intense music fills my ears and goosebumps crawl all throughout my body.
     "I hope you know this is just a movie", Shawn jokes as I continue to hide under the creamy white bedsheets while cuddling up beside him. His one arm is over my shoulder, as the other is bent behind his head as a cushion. He stares intently interested in the movie, jumping every few times at their horrible but successful jump scares. Sometimes yelling frustrated for them not to go through the creepy door, not to open the closet door that looks scary as f*ck. You know, the cliché scenes. He's looks adorable, the way he gazes at the tv so captivated by its screams and scares. His eyes are wide at the plot twists, and his mouth widens. I'm more focused on him than the actual movie. I can't help but push myself upward toward his neck, and I kiss his skin gently and slowly, just to drive him crazy. Resting my lips there, I feel him tense under my touch. My grip around his torso tightens as I slide my tongue swiftly across a small section of skin on his neck. I can feel his head lean back slightly, giving me more room to continue my actions. Raising my hand to his neck, I delicately hold him in place as I continue to leave red marks on his skin, imprinting the fact that he's mine. He groans quietly, but his vocals vibrate against my lips.
     I lift myself off my seat beside him and climb over him, placing myself on his lap as he adjusts. His hands hesitate, before he uncertainly places them over the bit of skin visible below my shirt. His grip tightens as he gains certainty and confidence. Whilst I kiss his neck gently, he becomes impatient, craving my lips on his. I giggle at the amount of control I have over him and fiddle my fingers through his hair, pulling slightly. He groans, and I take the opportunity to kiss his plumps lips while they're open. Our tongues fight for dominance, like a war, each trying to claim territory and authority. He kisses me with so much lust, yet so much aggression that his grip makes me weak. I involuntarily release a moan, consequently making him feel powerful and proud of the way he makes me feel. Knowing he is the only one, with this control over me. He seems to relax, feeling a bit less tense, as his grip loosens. We both calm down, breathe slowly but continue our session, we kiss more passionately than belligerently. Our lips move together, in sync and in command. His head pushes back against mine as he tries to deepen the kiss, and I kiss him harder in return. I can feel his hands run down to my lower back and it gives me a feeling I can't explain. Almost like chills, but only along the path of where his fingers glide. He smiles into the kiss, I can only focus on his touch, nothing more and he is completely aware. My head stands still, and my eyes stay shut. My vision is blank, but my thoughts are captivated by the feeling of his lips on the skin at my jaw. His palms move swiftly down to my butt and grips it hard. I release a gasp, at my reaction he chuckles quietly to himself before leaning in to continue our kiss. On one end, I find so attractive that he's so confident in what he can make me feel, but on another end, I am confused and surprised. He has never showed this much possession towards me, besides when we go out and boys tend to stare at my choice of clothing. He gets extremely possessive when we go out, he wants to kiss in public, hold me in public to show everyone I'm his. Don't get me wrong, I love his affection, but sometimes I feel like it's me that he doesn't trust, like he thinks I'll be the one to run away from our relationship. When it's the total opposite, he has girls swarming him with compliments and swanning over him all the time. They look at him like he's the only source of water in the middle of the desert. And he has no idea whatsoever, and these girls are gorgeous l tell you, they have glowing clear skin, shiny blonde hair and petite slim bodies. How can I compete? I love knowing that he doesn't want to lose me, but I want him to know I can't lose him.
     "Shawn", I break the ice quietly. He continues to kiss down my neck, paying no attention to me. I just feel him groan back as a response.
   "Shawn, stop", I say strictly and as he hears the word "stop", his actions are completely ceased. He seems almost scared, questions probably roaming his head, as he sits there wondering what he did wrong, or if he hurt me.
     "Did I do something? Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking. I, I just needed to kiss you.", he speaks so vulnerably, he looks defenseless as he rambles on. He sits up straight from his position, holding me, almost apologizing with his soft touch.
   "No Shawn, you didn't do anything.", I try to calm him down with soothing words, and as they fall from my lips, a look of pure relief washes over him. I can hear a quiet breath escape his mouth that he seemed to be holding in worriedly. The questioning look his eyes give me, push me to continue my abrupt stop.
"I'm sorry. I just...", I begin my sentence, not too sure how I'm going to end it. I want him, I crave his touch, his lips and attention. But right now, I have a feeling in my gut, it's scaring me, telling me to be careful. Because I've never been in this situation before. Wanting someone so bad that your body aches for them, that you can't control your temptation.
"Shawn, I-I've never done this before", I finish my sentence, shaking and stuttering. I signal with my open hands at us, showing him that I've never been in this position. I can feel my hands tremble saying this out loud to him, I feel weak, like I'm embarrassing myself here. Adding onto the fact he won't say anything, makes me angry, that he can't accept it. I feel my breath hitch, I feel a ball at my throat, like I want to cry, but I want to hold it in which makes me want to sob all the more. I don't say anything, I feel restrained from talking until he says anything at all.
Unexpectedly, his eyebrows both rise, and that f*cking smile of his spreads around his face. I furrow my brows as I watch him with confusion, and patience.
"Why are you smiling?", I inquire a bit harshly, because he just sits there with a stupid grin, laughing at me. My mouth falls open slightly, not believing how rude he's being.
"Because...", he begins, and I feel like my heart is starting to break, just predicting the words that will fall from his lips, that will hurt me, and haunt me. But instead he makes break from how meaningful his words are.
"I want to be the one you trust enough to do it with",he responds looking at me with adoration in his eyes. The words that trail from his mouth make my heart melt as much as the honesty and love in his voice. I can't help but pull him in for a kiss and hold him tight. He smiles and chuckles into the kiss making me smile as well.
"I love you so much"
"I love you too baby"