Lies

Part Four: Ryan

I'm Ryan Baxter, Bria's boyfriend, and I have a secret I'm gay, bisexual to be exact, but I can't say that in the place where I live everyone would persecute me if I came out. I can't ever look Bria in the face or tell her I love her anymore because I don't love her the way she wants me to love her, and I just feel bad lying today was one of the hardest days of my relationship to Bria, the end. I met her outside of school today and I said "Hey Bree" she said "Hey Quack" her nickname for me, long story, then she gave me her heart-breakingly beautiful smile that makes those hazel eyes light up and those rosy cheeks glow, the smile that almost made it impossible to tell her what I had to tell her, to break up with her. There were other factors to why I had to as well as why it was so hard to do but I knew I had to. I looked at her and then she leaned in and kissed me but I just didn't feel that spark anymore that used come every time I kissed her because I felt that spark with another. I pulled away and said "Can we go somewhere and talk, please?" she said "Yeah, Ivy's?", Ivy's is our favorite café I said "Sure Ivy's." and then I thought to myself 'Oh God I'll never be able to go to Ivy's again after this.' Bria said "Let's go" and so we went when we got there we ordered I had a caramel latte and she had a hot chocolate it was fall so that made sense. I said "Bria I have to tell you something." She looked up at me over her hot chocolate which she was been taking a sip of and went "Mhm" I took a deep breath and said "I think we need to break up" she coughed and looked at me tears starting to fill those big hazel eyes I went on "I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved and I feel guilty and selfish keeping you from someone who can love you in the way that I can't anymore, I would be honored if you could still accept me I know I don't deserve it but still I can hope you can forgive me." I stood up and kissed the top of her head careful not to look at the tears in her eyes, grabbed my bookbag and said "Bye Bree" as I left I looked back and saw Bria crying and I felt like the biggest ass in the world and I thought 'What have I done?'