Closer By The Day | DESUS

Chp 1: Isolated

Daryl was at Hilltop, staring down at Carol' grave. She was buried beside Glenn, Abraham and Sasha. Why her? He thought. He kept thinking it should have been him. He lied to Carol about the saviours thinking it would keep her safe, thinking that she would not fight. If Morgan shut his mouth, maybe she'd still be safe. 

"I failed you, Carol." Daryl choked. "Just like I failed Glenn, Denise, Beth... Sofia.." He trailed off. He shut his eyes tight trying to hold back tears. He had to stay strong. He had to be there for everyone else but a part of him thought he'd fail them too. Screw everything up. Guess it was a Dixon trait he was stuck with till his last breath.

He sat with his knees close to his chest, zoned out and mind blank. He then heard quiet footsteps behind him but didn't have to look to know who it was. Paul was always trying to keep an eye out for Daryl incase he tried something stupid. It was mainly Maggie's idea.

"Thought i'd find you here." Paul's soft voice spoke.

"Let me be, Paul." Daryl said, not bothering to snap or yell. It never stopped the man from being a pain in the ass.

"You're the only one who calls me by my real name." He said ignoring the greiving man's tension. "Why?" He then asked. Daryl just responded with a small grunt. Paul sighed and sat beside him but not close enough to voilate his personal space.

"I never knew her well, but i know she'd hate seeing you like this." Paul said calmly, trying to comfort the older man who could be a ticking time bomb. Daryl clenched his teeth after hearing those words. Did he honestly think he was making him feel better? "It has been a month, Daryl." Paul continued. "You need to move on and start living. That's what she would want." With that, Daryl stood up and stormed off to the trailer he had been staying at.

"Daryl, wait!" Paul shouted as he jogged after him but stopped when the angry redneck turned around  with a firing glare.

"YA AIN'T FOLLOWIN ME YA NOSEY PRICK!" He yelled, leaving the smaller man speechless. "YA BEST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Daryl then made his way to the trailer, ignoring all the disgusted looks from the hilltop people near by. Paul sighed in frustration And went towards the Barrington house to look for Maggie.

As Paul entered, He saw Enid, Tara and Maggie talking in the living area with bright smiles on their faces. Everyone was full of hope and peace. Everyone except Daryl. Paul could not understand him sometimes but he had to stop and realise that Daryl cared too much and would put others first, kind of like he'd do too. Maggie, Tara, Enid and nearly everyone else all knew the amount of guilt he carried. They understood how much he was suffering.

"Jesus." Maggie said as her face brightened along with Enid and Tara who gave him a warm smile. Their expressions dropped though after seeing Paul's. "Everything okay?" She asked in concern. Paul breathed out and looked to the floor.

"It's Daryl." Paul sighed. "He's lost it again, I was trying to comfort him but-"

Tara shook her head. She just about had enough hearing such negativity about Daryl. Why couldn't he just be happy?

"That does it." She huffed out, storming out of the house.

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Daryl sat at the edge of his bed, cleaning his arrows. He was thinking about leaving for a few days and bringing a decent amount of rabbits back to hilltop. He then stopped and thought about him yelling at Paul a few minutes ago and the look Paul had on his face. Maybe that outburst wasn't necessary, he was only trying to be supportive. Just as Daryl slung his new crossbow over his back, he heard a loud knock and then a female voice shouting.

"Daryl," She said, sounding cross. "I need to have a word with you!"

He hesitantly made his way to the front door and opened it to see a very displeased Tara. Maybe she heard my outburst. Daryl thought, pressing his lips together into a thin line. His eyes then met with Tara's again.

"What ya gotta complain about?" Daryl rasped, his southern accent strong and loud.

"Nothing." Tara said, her eyes now full of sympathy. "I just wanna talk and you're going to listen."

Daryl could sense how serious she was, he had never been spoken to in that tone from her. He hesitated but half nodded at the upset woman, letting her know he'll let her talk.

"C'mon in" He grunted.

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"Where you heading?" Maggie asked Paul as he grabbed his knives and the car keys. The conversation him, Maggie and Enid had about Daryl lead to Jesus's best possible idea.

"Alexandria." He replied with a grin, slipping on his jacket and rushing outside.

"Be safe!" Maggie called out before the front door shut.

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Tara plopped on the couch beside Daryl, sighing deeply before speaking.

"I'm not sure how to tell you this without getting on your nerves , but I guess I have to take the risk." She said awkwardly.

"Huh,"

"Look, I'm not going to sit back and watch you fall apart like this and I really should have come to you sooner to give you a piece of my mind but here we are now and I hope you take my words seriously." Tara said straight forward. Daryl shifted uncomfortably, knowing he was about to face a long lecture. "Daryl." She started. "You matter. We all care about you and we don't wanna lose you. I know you're tired of everything and I know you have lost hope right now but we made it. We won. You have a chance to start living again, to spend time with your family. Don't throw all that away, Daryl." She finished, blinking back tears. "We all love you."

The whole time Tara spoke, a whole wave of warmth filled Daryl's chest. He began to feel bad when he noticed how emotional she was getting. How could he have been so blind? He spent the whole month isolating himself not knowing how people felt about it. It actually effected them more than he expected. But why?

"I-I'm sorry.." He choked out. "I'm an asshole.."

Tara pulled him into a hug.

"You're not an asshole. You're just in a bad state right now and we're going to fix it" She whispered. "I promise." 

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Okay so that was the first chapter! I hope you liked it and please feel free to give me your thoughts on it. I like honesty, it helps heaps.

do you think Daryl is going to warm up to Jesus soon?

If so, what do you think will happen? :D