The only reason (luke hemmings fanfic)(trigger warning)

chapter 1

A/N

i decided to write a luke hemmings fanfiction so.....yeah ALSO this first chapter is suuuuuper depressing so...yeah.......enjoy!!!

Brooklyn's POV

A tear runs down my face as i flick through the pages of the diary i attempted to keep when i was 7. the updates have weeks, sometimes months between them and the writing is hard to read, but i don't need the writing to be legible, i remember sitting at my pink homework desk and writing every word with a purple sparkly gel pen.

Why am i crying you ask? because it's not fair. My life was so happy and easy and simple back then. boys were gross, bullies didn't  exist, body image didn't exist and due to what my (at the time) extremely judgmental and huge believer in stereotypes older brother had told me, self harm was what weird emo kids with the long fringes, heavy eyeliner and black nail polish did for attention and to look cool.

oh how clueless i was.

I pull my sleeves as far down my wrists as they would go, there's nobody in my room with me to hide all the little red marks from, it would be weird if there was considering it's 4 AM, but i still feel better with them covered.

Out of sight, out of mind. Bullshit.

They're out of sight pretty much all day, every day, and guess what i spend most of my time thinking about.

i pull out my phone and check Facebook. Oh boy! Amanda (or one of her minions) has written another status about me using that account she named "Anonymous Opinions" she thinks i don't know its her, but its obvious.

"That brooklyn kid does know that she's disgusting right? like ew. brookie, hun if you see this. lose the cake ok? and get on a damn treadmill, you look like honey boo boo's mom! hahaha"

As the tears stream down my face and i nod because i 100% agree with her i glance around my room until my eyes fall on the little wooden box that has a lock on it, that my grandma gave me when i was 5, the summer before she died.

I snatch the key from my bedside table, heading over to my vanity table where the box sits in front of the huge mirror. as i reach for the box, fumbling to get the key in the lock i stare at my fat, disgusting face, the huge nose and weird-shaped lips, the eyes that are too close together and the huge forehead.

I finally get the lock open, my entire body shaking with each silent sob. i grab one of the many blades that i had spent hours getting out of pencil sharpeners i had stolen from school. I tiptoe to the bathroom, the image of my ex-best friend typing out that status, surrounded by her laughing friends, burning in my mind. i lean against the sink, and like i had done so many times before. I rolled up my sleeve, pushed my bracelets aside and slashed at the uncovered skin. Over, and over, and over.

I don't think. All i feel right now is the intense stinging of my wrist, the warm blood trailing down my arm and into the sink.

I let out a shaky breath as i put the blade down and wash away the blood. I grab some gauze and wrap a thin layer over the mess i just made on my arm.

I put the bracelets back in place and roll down my sleeve. I throw the blade into the bin, followed by some scrunched up paper towels so that whoever uses the bin next, will see a bunch of paper towels, rather than a bloody razor.

Crawling into bed i sing therapy by all time low over and over in my head until i fall asleep.

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A/N

BOOM! so that was the first (rather depressing) chapter of my Luke hemmings fanfic. idk this chapter is kinda depressing but things will lighten up soon!! votes and comments are much appreciated! (picture in sidebar is who i cast as brooklyn)

-Ami