The only reason (luke hemmings fanfic)(trigger warning)

Chapter 10

A/N: you guys are NOT prepared for this chapter omg.

Brooklyn's POV

"please eat something"

i sigh, but then i hear a voice that i haven't heard for a few months "see? he thinks you're a freak just like everyone else. why else would he try make you eat?" it whispers in my right ear. i flinch away from the harsh, mocking voice. and Luke gives me a confused look.

"what are you flinching away from?" he asks cautiously.

"haha now he thinks you're an even bigger weirdo" the voice whispers, in my left ear this time, i try to just ignore it and think of a reply to Luke.

"i uhh..thought i heard a bee or a wasp or something" i reply to him trying to sound casual.

"oh ok. look just eat some of this popcorn. we can share it so you'll only be eating like, 55 calories" he begs, returning to the previous topic.

the voice chuckles mockingly at the whole situation. shut up! i think to myself.

"ok then Luke" i sigh. just then the microwave beeps signaling that the popcorn is done i turn and open the little microwave door and grab the paper popcorn bag, forgetting that it will most likley be very hot. i immediately pull my hand away from the burning hot bag, hissing in pain at the burning sensation.

"you absolute idiot. no wonder you're such a failure!" the voice mocks.

"shut up!" shit. i said that out loud. Luke looks at me worriedly.

"Brooklyn, i didn't say anything." he says, warily. "are you sure that you're ok?" his eyes are full of concern and confusion.

"don't you dare tell him" the voice warned.

you don't own me i can tell whoever i feel like telling, i think.

"he'll think you're crazy, put you in a hospital!"

"he thinks you're insane!"

"look at his face! he's totally 5 seconds away from calling pest control"

go away. go away. go away. go away.

Luke's POV

she looked like she was having an internal battle, trying to will something away. she had a panicked look in her eyes and her breathing was heavy and uneven. i slowly approached her and placed my hand on her shoulder gently, causing her to look up at me. she almost didn't seem to recognize me, she just looked terrified for some unknown reason. her breathing was getting faster and that's when it hit me.

she was having a panic attack. i've only dealt with one panic attack before and that was when some random guy in class had one before a test. i'm not sure what to do so i just follow my instinct.

"hey, Brooklyn look at me. hey, it's ok just follow my breathing. I'm here you're perfectly safe, c'mon sit down" i assure her, not breaking eye contact and sitting her down on the floor. she nods slightly and tries to steady her breathing, tears damp on her cheeks.

Her breathing slows down but she's still shaking like a leaf she opens her mouth and tries to say something but no sound comes out.

"hey, it's okay you don't need to say anything." i say quietly, using my thumb to wipe away a few of the tears that are staining her face. she leans back against the wall and lets out a shaky sigh.

i reach over and wrap my arm around her, gently pulling her into me in an attempt to comfort her. i guess it works because after a minute or so her breathing evens out and her body is no longer tense and shaky, but is relaxed against me.

Brooklyn's POV.

"Luke I'm so sorry." i mumble, way to go me, today was meant to be fun and now me and my stupid head have ruined everything.

"what are you sorry for?" he asks, confused.

"for ruining the day. im so sorry Luke you shouldn't have to deal with this you don't deserve-" i start beginning to ramble until Luke shushes me.

"you didn't ruin the day, you didn't choose to have a panic attack. it's fine Brooklyn as long as you're ok."

"yeah but it is my fault because i didn't tell you!" i stated, getting a little worked up.

"you aren't gonna tell him are you? wow you are more than just a freak you're very, very dumb too."

"what didn't you tell me?" he asks worriedly glancing down at me.

i don't want to tell him, i didn't mean to say it, but it was like i wasn't in control of my own mouth, he's gonna think I'm crazy.

"Luke just so you know before i start, it hadn't happened for a few months, i thought it had gone, that's why i didn't tell you." i start, the words tumbling from my mouth their own accord.

"Brooklyn you're worrying me, what is it?" he asks calmly.

"not long after i started self harming something weird happened, there was this...this voice. m-more of a whisper really and he would just kinda be there, all the time. he wasn't always bad he was kinda like a reflection of what it was feeling i guess." i start. "if i was reading Amanda's comments or looking at myself in the mirror he would be calling me a fat, disgusting freak , but if i was watching a movie or something he would just be making idle comments about what was happening in the film, you know stuff like 'you idiot why would you go into the creepy demon-filled attic omg'." i say, unable to stop the flow of words from my mouth.

"Brooklyn what exactly are you saying?" he asks, nothing but concern filling his voice.

"i-i hear voices in my head Luke, i thought he'd gone but he's back and I'm scared, I'm scared he'll never leave, I'm scared that I'm not strong enough to deal with him, Luke, I'm scared that you're gonna call me a crazy freak and walk out. I'm so scared and i don't know what to do." by the end of my little speech I'm sobbing, my head buried in his chest, the sound of his heartbeat oddly comforting.

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A/N

OH SNAP. idk this is ok i guess.

-ami