Grandeur of the Ordinary #1

From Evening to Dusk

A brief and momentary silence struck Senayan on the evening. Only the echoes of adzan and the bustling streets can be heard. This was common in Ramadhan, the rigorous activities always halted as soon as the sun sets. Only one task was at the minds of the masses: satisfying their hunger. I sat idly in a restaurant waiting for the Jakarta traffic to go by, accompanied by only half a cup of coffee, my notebook, and kretek cigarettes. As people conversed around me, I can't help but take an interest in their activities. A man; most likely of Indian descent, talks about the arduous business project he has in hand with his partner. Behind him, a group of young adults spoke privately about their usual routines, with the occasional jokes thrown at the side. This might seem like an ordinary scene to most men, but to me it was like seeing a collective of stories come to life. In the words of Dr. Who, "We are all stories in the end, make it a good one". Well without a deeper analysis, I myself cannot summarize how good or bad each of the individuals' stories are, but I can't help but be entertained. This was the most authentic part of being a human, to interact with each other intimately. Unfortunately, with the rise of smartphones this sight has become more of a rarity. We often sat next to each other and instead of developing a connection we divert our attention to the tiny communication devices we have at our palms. Ironically, as it gets easier to communicate we become more distant with those who are close to us.

Seconds, minutes, hours passed. I was too distracted by my observation of others that I lost track of time. Funny, I thought. To experience one of Einstein's most renowned theory first hand and to realize it happening to me was such an unfamiliar sensation. It felt like laughing at a joke that a stranger from across the street has made. More people are now coming into the restaurant and as an introvert I felt somewhat uncomfortable. I tried to fight it, to push it as far back in my head as I possibly can, but it's still there. Like a ghost, it haunts me. For someone who loves the many spectrum and complexities of humans, I avoid any unnecessary interactions with them. Why? Because it is to me a very tiring process. Putting up a facade, creating interesting topics, trying to impress one another, just the thought of it exhausts me. To ease my uneasiness, I clear out my mind and focus on one single object that I can set my sights on; a plantation waving gently in front of me. It gave me a sort of performance, a dance with the wind. Left, right, up, down, it moved unorthodoxically. Never predictable, never boring. Again, this might seem mundane to most of you and it is very understandable if you think so. But it is in the simplest of things that we tend to find subliminal hints of beauty and meaning.

The traffic was starting to recede. Cars and motorcycles were moving at a faster pace, each heading to their own varying destinations. This was what I've been waiting for, the perfect time for me to leave. Yet for some reason, I cannot will myself to move. I was stuck to my seat like a pair of velcro. We have a term for this in Indonesia, when we become too comfortable in one place that we just can't be arsed to move. It's called mager or males gerak. It means too lazy to move (due to comfortness) in English. Yeah, this happens quite regularly among us that we have a word for it. But right now, I embrace it with open arms. Considering what I have to do in the next few hours (which is nothing at all) I find resisting this overwhelming comfortness a waste of my time and mental energy. Some call this state I'm in an endemic, but with the right circumstances it can also be a form of paradise. People unconsciously need this, to stop and enjoy the moment, to stop and enjoy the now. It is a necessity that is greatly undermined, a spontaneous recess that comes and goes unexpectedly. I speculate that most great artists find inspiration at times like this. For an idea that comes instantaneously in a relaxed environment is an idea that resonates with you on a deeply personal level.

It was late. The moon had set its gaze on the citizens of earth, including myself. I was always fascinated by the white glowing spectacle of the night. It is patient in its watch and stoic in its duty. Tonight, it became a reminder of who I am and where I stand in society. Similar to the moon, I am an observer. I let situations play out naturally and accordingly, like watching a movie in the theater. The fun is in the guesses you make; What will happen next? Will it happen? Could it happen? Curiosity excites me dearly. Besides that, I am also true to myself. I do not like the act of impressing people and only do it if it is absolutely necessary. I do not buy branded clothes to make myself look cool, I do not boast about my life to climb up the social ladder, I do not go to fancy restaurants or cafes to make my daily routine seem more interesting. Money is a means not an end, popularity is as fickle as the labels people put on you. The only acceptance that matters is from yourself. The moon knows this and that is why it only acts based on its own limits and that it never changes for nothing but itself. If society had learned from the moon, if society had learned from the people similar to it, maybe the world would become a decent place. You are no better than anyone, if you think this is untrue then you need to only look above. For now as I look at the dark horizon from this tiny restaurant, I feel like I am only a speck in the eye of the universe.

The bill is closed, it is time to go home, this is the the first part of the therapeutic session I call "The Grandeur of the Ordinary" hope you all learned something today. Stay modest people.