Vanilla and Lavender

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I stand aside
(choking on the scent of lilies)
trying my best to breathe through the sensation of my lungs ablaze

I've washed this sweater a thousand times
but it still smells like you
(like vanilla and lavender)
it still smells like death
(but it was your favourite)

I burned all the lilies in my garden
until ash coated my chrysanthemums
but I still cling to your threadbare sweater

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