Moving Forward

Prologue

The news came as a shock.

I mean, we were told to be prepared and to expect the worst, but I don't think anyone thought that it would actually happen. We all held that small, golden slither of hope that things wouldn't go the way we were told and that somehow, as if by magic, things would go our way and the conditions would improve.

And yet there I sat, in the dark, miserable hospital room, staring at a bed. My dad had been trying to get me to move from my seat for hours and yet I had refused. The doctors and nurses had repeatedly tried to get me to leave. However, they were used to people acting like this and therefore, they understood. And so, they allowed me to stay, often sending sympathetic smiles my way when they passed the room.

It had been 3 hours and I hadn't moved. I hadn't spoken. I hadn't done a thing.

My heart was heavy yet empty. My body was full of hurt and my brain was overcrowded with so many thoughts and memories constantly flowing that I had a thumping headache. My eyes were dry and stung and I had no doubt that they were red and probably even puffy.

"Honey, you're going to have to move. We need to go home." My dad sighed, crouching down next to me, his back facing to the bed as he tried his best to keep his eyes off it.

I shook my head, my hair falling back in front of my face as I bit my lip. I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave.

My dad let out another sigh. I think that was all he had done for the past 3 hours as I sat here. "Please, Avery. I can't stand been here any longer."

Dad looked so tired. His hair was a complete mess of constantly running his fingers through it and pulling it in frustration as he tried his best not to break down. His eyes were red and the bags underneath were a clear indication of just how little he had slept these past few months. There was now a beard supporting his once clean shaved face. All in all, he looked tired. Miserable. Completely, and utterly destroyed.

I knew I had to move. I couldn't stay here forever, I knew that as did everyone else. But it was so hard. I didn't want to leave knowing that staring at the view in front of me would be the last time I seen her.

It was all too much. I was too young for this, people my age were out having fun, not doing what I was doing. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair. At 19 years old, my heart was completely broken to what felt like was beyond repair.

But I couldn't do this to my dad. I knew how he was feeling and this wasn't fair. I knew they had to move her, she couldn't stay here forever. Now was the time to stop thinking of myself, like I had done for the past 3 hours and think of how dad was feeling.

With that, I breathed in a large breath which felt like the first in months. I put my hands on my knees and I pushed myself up so that I was no longer sitting. My back protested this action by sending pains through it, a reminder that I had sat in the same position for far too long. I put my hands down and grabbed my dad's hands and pulled him up so that he was now standing instead of crouching.

And then I done what I could imagine he had been waiting for hours for. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into a large hug. His arms went around my shoulder as he held me tightly, both of our sadness merging into one as we provided each other with the comfort we both desperately needed.

The rest of our family had left long ago, not being able to stand the view for much longer. Heartbreak was heavy amongst the family at the moment, and I didn't blame everyone for leaving. If it was under any other circumstance, I probably would have done the exact same thing. They were there when we needed them the most, and they had to leave now to grieve without the current melancholy atmosphere that filled up this building.

After a while I pulled back from the hug, new tears had surfaced in his eyes and I swallowed with difficulty as I tried my best to push mine back. My eyes were sore off all the crying and I was unsure of how much more crying would hurt. Not that it would compare to the hurt in my heart, anyway.

"Let's go home?" I asked, reaching down and grabbing my coat which I had thrown on the floor hours ago. Once standing again, I looked up into his eyes as he smiled a broken smile. He nodded and grabbed his things along with the bag of belongings the nurses had previously packed for us, my family being unable to do so ourselves.

We headed for the door but before we left, I turned back and stared once more at the bed.

Far too young to have passed, I thought to myself before thrusting my coat into my dad's arms as I walked towards the bed for the last time.

I grabbed her cold hand that was lying beside her and squeezed it with all my might. Lifting it to my mouth, I pressed a last loving kiss to the back of it, sending all the remaining love from my body into that kiss, as if it would bring her back. I knew it wouldn't.

Holding her hand tightly, I lent down and kissed her forehead, before kissing her cheeks. Her skin cold underneath my touch. It hurt. It hurt so much knowing this was the last time I'd ever do this. Her skin was turning a grey colour as she lay there, her body completely still.

I stared at her lifeless face, as I smoothed her hair down and stroked her cheek, sending her all my love and allowing her to know just how much she meant to me and just how much I would miss her.

One more kiss was pressed to her cheek before I stood up straight. I dropped her hand, allowing it to lie beside her.

"I love you so much, mum." I whispered before I turned my back to the bed for the first time today and left the room, my father leading the way.

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Ahhhh, new story! I finally finished 1st year at university, which has been hectic af! Bloody hell it was non stop work- the perks of a history degree :P

So I thought i'd write this story based on a difficult personal experience of my own. This allows me to really connect with the character and make sure that everything she is feeling or saying is somewhat real, and not what I would imagine it would be like.

I hope you enjoy this! I'm not 100% how often I will be updating this as it is sort of hard to write however, I will try my best!

Love, LoveAtWar<3