Moving Forward

Chapter 1

1 month later

Four weeks had past since that awful day.

July 26th had been and gone and it was now August 26th.

I'd like to say that nothing had really changed and that I had been able to continue with my life, that my dad was fine and living life as normal and that Alex still came around on his usual days of Wednesday and Friday nights for movie nights.

I'd like to say that I was fine.

But all of that would be a lie. Because everything had changed, I couldn't continue with my life and dad was far from fine and living his life as normal. In the past month he had barely even went to work, yet now he had done a complete u-turn. And Alex didn't come around on his usual days. In fact, he hardly came around at all now.

And I was far from fine; I wasn't fine at all.

Getting out of bed every morning was beginning to be a task that only got harder each day. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I was purposely trying to not go about my daily life like normal. I was... I just couldn't do it. I wasn't sure how to explain what I was feeling. It was as if my life no longer had a purpose and that it was easier for me to just lie in bed and not worry about anything, I was always tired and therefore, it seemed like a logical response to my feelings.

On top of all that, it wasn't like I even need to impress anyone. I hardly seen Alex anymore. Fair enough, just after my mum passed away, he came straight over to see me. But as I grieved more and I cried more, he gradually moved further and further away from me until I barely seen him.

My dad appeared to be throwing himself into work even more than usual, gladly accepting any overtime he was offered. I knew it wasn't because he didn't want to be near me. I knew exactly why he was accepting those offers; it was because he didn't want to be in the house. He didn't want to be constantly reminded of memories of my mother. And I didn't blame him for doing it. He had the escape I so desperately wished I had.

Currently, it was the weekend and I was spending my Saturday night in bed watching re-runs of Doctor Who. At the moment I was watching Season Two which just so happened to be my favourite season out of them all. My almost whole pizza lay beside me which only showed my half ass attempt at eating something. My appetite had dramatically dropped in the past month, I had no interest in eating at all, and anything I did eat either didn't get finished or didn't stay in my stomach for long.

A knock on my door pulled me away from my focus of the scene in front of me where the tenth doctor saying goodbye to Rose. I quickly wiped at my eyes as I shut the laptop lid and told whoever was at the door to come in.

The door opened slightly before Alex popped his head around the door, a weary smile on his face. He glanced around the door before opening it fully and stepping in, closing it behind him.

"You alright?" he asked whilst moving away from the door and sitting himself down on the edge of my bed.

I shifted to put my laptop and remaining pizza on the floor as I nodded. "Yeah... No... I don't know." I sighed, running my hands up over my face and then running them through my hair.

Alex shifted towards me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling my body into his. "I wish I could take away your sadness," he sighed into my hair as he tightened his hold on me.

I let out a small laugh as I wrapped my arms around his body. "I wish you could too. I wish anyone could. Heck, I wish I could take it away. I'm sick of it, it's getting too much." And it was. I just wanted all of this hurting to stop. It was taking up too much energy.