Moving Forward

Chapter 2

After the whole breakdown that I had where I destroyed my room, I wasn't sure what happened after that because the next thing I knew, I was waking up on my bedroom floor to the sound of my bedroom door opening and someone shaking me.

I groaned as I rolled onto my back, rubbing my eyes to try rid of the sleep that was still hanging over me like a black cloud. In my haste to destroy my room, I hadn't bothered closing my curtains so the sun was bleeding in which only blinded me as I finally opened my eyes. Squinting up at the figure above me, all I could make out was a head of red hair.

"Charlotte?" I grumbled, pushing myself into a sitting position as I pushed my hair back from my face.

"What the hell did you do?" She gasped, her mouth hanging wide as her eyes roamed every inch of the room.

I shrugged, my gaze mirroring hers as I looked at the damage. Internally, I was cringing at the mess that I had made but on the outside, I wasn't going to let that show. "I don't know."

Charlotte's gaze finally made its way back to me. "You wrecked your room? Why did you do that?" she frowned before shaking her head. "Never mind, stupid question."

"Actually, it wasn't because of mum," I started as I stood up. There was no way I could leave my room like this, if my dad returned from work and seen this he would flip.

"Then why?"

"Alex." I grumbled yet again. Charlotte had been my best friend since we were children and I basically told her everything. She basically knew the ins and outs of my whole relationship with Alex.

She pulled her red hair back from over her shoulders and tied it in a bun on top of her head. Her eyebrows rose as she listened to my reveal. "Alex made you do this? What the hell did he say or do to you?"

I sighed as I looked at the floor, digging my toes into the carpet as I recalled last night. The tears were already beginning to fill my eyes as I dramatically blinked in an attempt to force them back down. "Basically told me to move on from what had happened to mum. He said it was getting boring and old and I just completely flipped."

"What a dick," Charlotte muttered. "Listen, ignore him. He has no idea what you're going through. I mean, neither do I but at least I don't act like a complete moron and dismiss how you're feeling. I get how hard this has to be and I get that you aren't going to go back to normal straight away. You need to grieve, Avery. And grief has no time limit to it no matter what anyone says. You do you. You take as much time as you need and ignore what everyone else thinks."

Her arms were suddenly wrapped around my shoulders as she pulled me into her chest. My hair was pulled back from in between us as she ran her hand through my hair. "You decide what you need to do and you decide how long you want to take. There are many stages to grief. It's only been a month since it happened, you're probably only in the first one still. Right," she began pulling me back from her as she placed her hands on my shoulders. "You go get in the shower and freshen up, and then we'll sort this mess out."

Charlotte waved her hands at the mess in front of us. I nodded my head slowly still taking in every word she had said and how true it all was.

No one was going to tell me how long my grief should last. That wasn't up to them at all. She was my mother. If this grief was going to last a few more weeks, months or even a year then that didn't matter. It was how I was coping that mattered.

And as long as I wasn't going bat shit crazy again and destroying my room, then that was okay.

Because sometimes, its okay to not be okay. It's okay to not be fine. Its okay to be sad. And it most definitely is okay to grieve.