Fallin' for ya... and for you, and maybe you too?

chapter 3

Mack had lied to Brady. When she said she couldn't hope for anything better than a future with him, she lied. There was something she desperately longed for, but it was impossible. Lela belonged in her movie, Mack in the real world. Mack could wish for the impossible all she wanted, it wouldn't happen. So what if she had lied to Brady? She still loved him. He was still her first boyfriend, her first kiss, and she was sure he would be her first time too.

What she felt for Lela couldn't hold her back, she couldn't keep dreaming of what could not be. She had to finally accept that Lela was gone and wasn't coming back. Mack had been the one that sent her back ! Well, a bit. Lela had not wanted to be the reason all of her friends disappeared. The point was Mack had to move on, which didn't mean she had to stop thinking about Lela whatsoever. Her friend wouldn't have wanted Mack to be depressed all day because she was gone, just as she didn't want Lela to be miserable without her. Best friends want each other to be happy, she thought. So she would settle for the next best thing. Which is already a great thing!, she chastised herself. She felt a bit guilty when she had thoughts like that.

Brady was a great boyfriend. He was kind, nice and patient. He always put her first, especially now that things were clear between them. So what if he was laid back and she got easily stressed ? They complemented each other.

She had thought life would turn out differently for them. She had pictured a future where she had gone to college and he stayed here, each visiting the other in turn and skyping every day. But he had surprised her !

That evening they spent at the beach, where they had decided they would both go to Berkeley... He also told her he had secretly applied for at least three jobs in every city that held one of her top five colleges, just in case, just so he could follow her. He said that even if he didn't attend college himself, he didn't want to add the strain of a long-distance relationship on her shoulders. Who does that ? When he had told her, she felt a rush of giddy joy course through her. And even if there was a little hidden part of her that still cringed when people started to sing for no reason, it had felt so right she... just... sang their song, Meant to Be. And Brady finished the song with her, and the sun was finally starting to set, and their eyes were locked together and soon their lips were also locked together and his hands began to move across her legs and her back, bringing them closer.

They had stopped kissing soon after. Brady broke the kiss first, laughing a bit at himself, his right hand at the back of his head, the other still holding Mack's back.

"Mack, hum, we... we better stop now or it will be really hard not to stop..."

Her eyes darkened at the memory of his flushed face, his ragged breath, his messy hair and timid smile. For a boy that oozed confidence on a board or singing on stage, he was adorably cute when he tried to not overstep her boundaries. And frankly, she found that really hot.

Mack smiled at her ceiling. After their picnic at the beach yesterday, she had kept thinking about Brady. He was so obviously devoted to her that she felt she simply had to be honest with him. He deserved to know how she felt about him but she also felt like she shouldn't hide her feelings for Lela. She was pretty sure telling him would act like a catharsis : even if she could not tell Lela, telling someone else would make those feelings more real in a way, and maybe Brady could help her deal with them. And deal with the fact she was never going to see Lela again.

It was really strange to feel such similar emotions towards two very different people. Of two different genders, what's more. Mack was certain she was in love with both Brady and Lela but not exactly in the same way. For Brady, her love felt like safety and home, like a warm fireplace in winter : they had nearly died together in the ocean, they were both immensely fond of each other, and she was relieved beyond measure that they were going to move to Berkeley together. For Lela, her love felt more like the flames themselves : it was bright hot with admiration and want, sparkling with deep affection and longing for more.

She needed to tell Brady. The sooner the better, before she lost her nerve. She called him.

"Well hello beautiful lady. What's up?"

"Can you come over tonight? I really need to talk to you."

She could practically hear his eyebrows draw together through the phone.

"Is something wrong ? Did something happen ?" Brady sounded a bit upset and her heart squeezed at the thought that she made him worry.

"It's not something bad, I don't think,  but I'd rather tell you in person than over the phone ?"

"Okay... and it can't wait until morning?" He didn't sound worried anymore, but teasing.

"Why?" she asked, not understanding. Then she glanced at her screen and actually noticed the time. 10:56 pm.

"Oh. Sorry, I got caught up in my thinking and didn't check the time before calling. Um, yeah, I guess we could tamk tomorrow ?"
She wanted to slap herself. Why hadn't she checked before calling ? Was she so conceited now that she subconsciously thought Brady was her slave, always obeying her every whim ?

"No, if you called you obviously need to talk now. Maybe tomorrow you won't want to tell me whatever it is anymore. Stay still, I'm on my way." He ended the call, not giving her time to protest.

Well then.