Forever Doesn't Mean Always...

The Searching

**CAUTION** this chapter includes triggering subjects. Please don't read if you're sensitive to suicide... thank you and have a wonderful day love 💕

The second day we were at the cabin Madi, Rose, Nichole, and Matt were all searching for me. And i was only in contact with Nichole who knew where i was but she promised she wouldn't say anything. I told her what had happen and Matt told everyone that Mickey had kidnapped me after i brought him dinner and we got into a fight. She said that Hope left town and was never coming back. But i could hear myself on speaker as soon as i heard Matts voice i said, "I gotta go Nichole. I'm safe and i love you. I'll see you and Jesse Friday okay?" and i hung up.
About two hours later I sent Mickey to Walmart to get food blankets, pillows, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, tampons and pads. And some extra underwear. I got on my phone and had gotten a message from my mom and Matt.
(Meghan's Mom)M/M-
"Meghan, I hope you're save and are okay. Please if you get this call me. I love you and I'm sorry me and your father were never around. We should've spent more time with you. Please baby come back home we miss you. I love you sweetie."
And then one from Matt
"Meghan I am so sorry I cheated on you, she drugged me and I would never do that to you I swear. Please come home I miss you. Or at least tell me your safe. I will go to the ends of this earth to find you if I have to. Please baby. I love you.."
I saw his message and cried. I had enough. I knew there was a brand new bottle of pain killers in the cabinet. I grabbed the whole thing and ran the water in the bath tub. I bawled my eyes and screamed "Why?! Why me?!" I sat in the tub and took the whole bottle 15 at a time. There were only about 70 pills in there and I took them all. I sat there and cried. I loved him so much. I was so loyal. And he fucking went off and cheated. Maybe I just wasn't pretty or skinny enough. Or maybe it was because I wouldn't have sex with him. I guess no one or me would ever know. I left him a message.
"Matt, I'm sorry but I jut can't take it anymore. Sitting here wondering what I did. Why you cheated. I guess I'll never know. This is goodbye. Not only to you. But to everyone. I hope you enjoy your life and have children some day. Tell them how you treated a women right but made a grave mistake that caused her to take her life... goodbye Matt."
I shut off the water, grabbed a pack or razor blades took them out and just cut on my wrists. Over the bridge... then I curled up in a bawl in the tub and cried. Then It all just black...

(Sorry for the short chapter I just had to update this week and this was all I could get. I'll most likely post one Saturday. But don't get mad if I don't. Have a wonderful night 💕)