Chapter 9

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-_____-Naruto's Point of View (There are some Yaoi moments just ignore them-_____-

I pushed my back further into the corner when I saw Fuu enter. 'Why is the gaki here?? Oh no don't tell me.' I thought as she missed me, probably on purpose. Two people following her down on the road of life, when one, a brunette I strangely know likes eating peanut butter in the shower, dropped a porn magazine and a envelope with the Kirigakure insignia on it onto my lap somehow making it perfectly face me.

Dear Uzumaki-San

I have sent Fuu and Utakata to the Chunin exams to kill, erm, beat all the other teams, minus yours and the other Jinchuuriki's. Utakata will be under the name Yuri, since he's a Jounin Nukenin, and will be using an amazing transformation jutsu to hide himself, since we're all badasses in more than one way. The other guy is Mizuri, while not as strong or as cool as us Jinchuuriki he has his uses and is also a Jounin. Please send me more of those porn magazines that you somehow get your hands on, they are truly amazing.

Sincerely Yagura, the Mizukage

"WHY, YAGURA??!? YOU TEME BUTT CRAP EATING LOWER THAN DIRT, LITTLE WUSS WOULD YOU GIVE ME THE GAKI TO DEAL WITH AND PAMPER??!?!" I scream bloody mary as Fuu noticed me screaming, Utakata smirked his stupid smirk, and Gaara walked in acting like nothing happened.

Now everyone was looking at me and I had a strange urge to say Vonderval and start dancing like a drunk with no pride, but I quickly killed those urges. 

"Alright little bit&#*$ get ready for the test! Anyone caught cheating five times will be mutilated on the spot with your teammates watching, then we will feed each of your teammates a lung. Anyone who gets a zero gets their entire team killed, you have forty five minutes to do this. Begin NOW!" Ibiki yelled starting the test.

'Ey yo Kurama give me the answers.' I order my sla- prisoner.

"This only a one time thing Gaki." Kurama states mad at my antics.

'Kurama do you think the jutsu I just thought up (Without telling the readers) would work.' I ask.

"Great, much better than the Rasengan, that is without a chance certain, but it's going to take forever to complete and work on it to perfection." Kurama states honestly.

I heard a ring go off, making my ears ring, why did it have to be my ears. After getting my hearing back, I see a women jump inside the building and I immediately know who it is due to the fact that the clothing left very little to the imagination, waving my hand I give the signal to my teammates to raise the dango. "Oh sweet Dango lordess accept this sacrifice and do not kill us." I state bowing my head.

"You better have gotten the good stuff." Anko states inspecting the wee- dango, the dango. 

She then made us and everyone else follow her to training ground 44 like good subordinates.

We finished writing our names on the pamphlet that showed all of the destinations and good places to go in hell. I checked if I had everything I needed for going to hell. Sacrificial knif- Katana it said Katana don't go back and read it, Endless amount of sealed blood- erm, unlimited amount of Kunai that run out at the worst times, Drachmas to pay Charon Check wait not check, Chocolate to bribe Fuu damn I forgot, stupid sarcasm hell yeah, earth scroll check, thousands of dead bodies in seals chec- forgot about the last um...

We soon ran into the gates of he- The forest of death, before I felt a dirt signature, beautiful in the arts of killing, creeping, being a pedophile, the loved Sannin of Konoha, Orichimaru. "Orochi teme, what are you doing here?" I ask the loved Sannin.

Snakes were having other ideas so they coiled me trying to gag me. "I knew you were gay Orochimaru, but a thirteen year old, I thought you would target someone younger." I taunt

"I like em young, just not too young." Orichimaru responds.

"I wasn't expecting that." I admit.

Another three billion snakes latched onto me, ejecting their 'poison' into me. "Naruto-Kun I want you to notice me, let me have my way with your body, and you will be the commander of my army." Orichimaru offers.

"NO GODDAMN YAOI WHAT'S WITH PEOPLE!?" The author asks.

"If I were you, then I would put the boy down, we don't need a pregnate male." Mizuri warns.

"What are you doing Gaara-Kun we are supposed to be allies?" Orichimaru asks.

"Comrades is a term I would never use to describe you. I never agreed to your plans and I never will." Gaara states.

"I see we're outnumbered, let's go Akira-Kun, I'll have a chance to make him my submissive later." Orichimaru states leaving with Akira.

"Enough, you need to rest and restore your lost strength. Mizukage-Sama warned me outburst your sadistic outbursts, and your sarcastic outbursts, and strangely your I'm gonna kill you outbursts, but I don't see how the last one will work." The transformed Jounin states.

"Fine." I state.

-_____-Omake-_____-

The author glared at Orochimaru with the fury of one thousand suns, Double Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan spinning rapidly. "Tsukiyomi." The author whispers forcing Orichimaru into his world.

"As you may have noticed you have less free will in here than in the actual story, because I am in complete and utter control of this world, you are protected by readers on the book level because some people like scum like you, people who target little boys. I am going to be teaching you a little lesson in why you shouldn't pursue Naruto." The authors states.

  14 thousand years of time in Tsukiyomi later. Orichimaru lies barely moving. "You will die in this story, not in the next chapter or the one after that, no no no, for you my dear enemy I will make your death take as long as possible, with you in constant, unbearable pain throughout your life in the next 10 plus chapters, I may even accidentally forgot about you and let you be in pain forever." The author states before laughing like a maniac who just got away with doing nothing.

-______-Fin-______-

Almost four months just to change and copy down all of the original writers chapters, but that is the end of their story, I will hopefully update this story soon, just not for a week at the least because I'm going out of town for a little bit. Nonetheless I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of Uzumaki Jinchuuriki, and I hope to see you all in the next chapter. -ForgottenOrange

Finished/Published 6/8/17

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