Milk And Cookies (TBD)

Chapter 6

She didn't even stop to say hello to Sophia, she went straight to her room, barely keeping back the tears. It shouldn't affect her as much. It wasn't like Alex had killed her, or someone she knew. But she thought by then they were sort-of friends. She thought it was a good idea but as soon as she popped the question he said no. Or stammered no. She knew he just did that to be polite. He was polite but he still didn't like her. McKenzie collapsed on her bed. All of a sudden, the voices from middle-school and high-school, and occasionally college, came back to her.

"You shouldn't even have friends."
"Nobody likes you."
"You're not worth it."
"You're worthless."
"Stop trying."
"You're fat."
"You're not talented."

And so, so, so much more.

"No! No! No stop! You should and do have friends. And they like you. You are worth it and you have worth. Keep trying! You are not fat! You are talented!" She screamed and cried at herself. It took a few minutes to compose herself and grabbed her phone. She wouldn't tell Sophia. When something like this happened Sophia would go to the extreme to fix it and always assume it was her fault. Again. Instead, she would tell Morgan.

Morgan used to live with them in Montana. But then she got a great chance to work in Hollywood. She was a great actress but since a few years ago the girls lost touch.

McKenzie: Hey, it's kenzie ❤❤❤☺☺☺

She didn't respond. Then that feeling came back. The crushing anxiety that told her Morgan didn't like her. That she was above her. It was like a peasant cheerfully greeting a god. She made a mistake. The tears started coming back.

Morgan: Hey!!!
Morgan: How you doing girl??

McKenzie sighed in relief.

McKenzie: Not very well.
McKenzie: It's happening again.
Morgan: Oh no..
Morgan: Remember to breathe. Remember what we told you.
Morgan: And tell Sophia...
McKenzie: You know what happens when I tell her...
Morgan: Tell her!!

At that exact moment, Sophia banged on the door. "Hey 'Kenzie? What happened?" there was a moment of silence. When she spoke again her voice was soft and worried. The voice she had used when McKenzie's father had died. Loving and just wanting the best for her friend no matter what. "I made chicken ramen and cupcakes..."

McKenzie's head popped up. "Yeah... I'm coming." She turned back to her phone

McKenzie: Fine

Sophia smiled and walked down the hall to the small kitchen. She took the ramen off the stove and poured it into two bowls. She sprinkled a bit of salt and mint in just to seem fancy and set them down on the table. She knew McKenzie would never tell her what's wrong so she might as well just try and make her feel better. She pulled out McKenzie's favorite bowls. White porcelain bowls with little scenes from McKenzie's childhood that a family friend had got customized for McKenzie.

McKenzie walked out of her room with messy hair and a tear-stained face. Sophia smiled at her and motioned for her friend to sit down. They ate in silence mostly. Sophia watched her carefully, eating her ramen. Sophia was caught by surprise when McKenzie took a deep breath...

"So... It's happening again..." She started.

"What is happening again?" Sophia had a vague idea, but she was hoping she was wrong

"You know... It." She said.

Sophia shook her head, "No, I don't."

McKenzie started quivering, "It's coming back. The big A and D."

"Anxiety and Depression? You can say it you know..." She said, McKenzie nodded.

"Just symptoms right? Not the full on package, right?"

"I don't know..." McKenzie sighed wearily

Sophia stared at her bowl. "McKenzie, it's probably not that bad. Don't diagnose yourself. Just-"

McKenzie stood without touching her food. "I've got work to catch up on."

Sophia stood up as well, rocking the table. "McKenzie calm down!" She grabbed her arm gently. "I didn't mean to up-"

McKenzie ripped her hand away, hitting Sophia across the face. Not even that hard. It was just an accident, but they had never fought, never hurt each other. Silence followed as McKenzie's bowl of ramen fell to the ground, soaking into the carpet.

"Get AWAY from me!" McKenzie hissed. Hissed, like an animal. It scared her. Sophia's hand rose to her now red cheek in shock more than pain. McKenzie flew up the stairs in tears.

"McKenzie, wait!" She called in desperation, but it was over. Sophia sat against her chair, lowering her head with brokenness and began to clean up their spilled ramen, suddenly not as hungry.

McKenzie: I'm coming over to your house for a few days

Morgan: What did you do this time

McKenzie: Nothing! I just.. I need to get out of the house for a bit.

Morgan: You're lucky I'm gullible. Come over whenever you want.

McKenzie: Thank you