Punching Blake

Barry Bullshitter

I reached my hand out to grab my phone wanting to silence my alarm. Where is that damn phone. I run my hand under my pillow before finally finding it close to the edge of the bed and flick the silence button across on the screen. Thank god for that, silence. Glaring up at the ceiling my body completely stiff as a board when I remember that I fucked up my hair yesterday. I really need to sort this, like now.

Standing up I remember to wrap a towel around my hand and leave my bedroom to grab a chair from the kitchen. Ooo maybe a snack too.

Looking around the fridge I hear the door open and my flat mate mumble a morning when I turn my head to reply I notice he's wearing those pants. Those pants as me and Faith like to call them are fucking horrendous. They're these light grey jogging bottoms that are that short in the leg they look like an eight year olds. I'm sure he's legit never washed them and they have holes everywhere. Like a giant hole on his ass. And when he walks you see his tiny tiny hairy ass cheek jiggle. They are ridiculous. Rolling my eyes at his jiggling ass cheek, I close the fridge and go see what there is in my cupboard whilst Barry leans against the window sipping his cup of water.

“Last night was madddddddd.”

I turn my head towards him and frown, “Didn't you just like go to Haz cousins  birthday?”

“Yeh but it was mad. No right. Me, Vince and Haz got there and done like 6 shots straight up. Proper bad mans.” He grins.

“Barry you snap chatted it? You came back like an hour after you left, then you played games all night?” I literally can't help but call him out on shit. Every time he has the stories and shit that he tells over and over again. Every time it changes. Then when you like refer back to one of his stories half the time he tells you that he’s never said that. Bla bla bla bullshit and more bullshit. Loves to think he a proper lad. A mans man. A lady killer with a shit ton of banter. Nope. He definitely is none of those regardless of how much he tries to be.

I munched on my breakfast bar as I watch him leave the kitchen, head down and mumbling about grabbing more sleep. Laughing to my self I quickly slam Faith a text in case she's sleeping updating her on Barrys current bullshit a little but that I’d explain properly later. Shrugging I grab a chair from the small breakfast bar in the corner of the kitchen and drag it with one hand behind me into my room and placing it before my bathroom mirror and counter.  Pulling the towel off and my top of my body I grab a brush and yank it through my hair. Christ it's so rough.

Pulling on the gloves I stare at the hair dyes I dump each bottle into the bowl and mix it with a pencil, just hoping it turns out half decent. PURPLE! Not bad, it could have turned that shit brown colours turn when you mix a shit ton together.

"Ok. Ok, I can totally do this. I can rock purple hair. Right?" Nodding to myself in the mirror I start by lathering a generous amount to my hair in random chunks. I mean it is block colour for christ sakes. Leaning forwards to the point that my nose almost touched the glass pane, I pulled my hair around checking to see if I had missed any spots and that my funky looking scalp was completely and utterly smothered in hair dye. Fuck yeh I actually didn’t balls that part up. Score! Wrapping an old towel around my head I throw myself ono my bed and read a couple chapters of one for the money. God damn Ranger and Morelli are hot. Stephanie Plum is one lucky girl. Now to wait for it to do its magic.

After a while, probably over did the timing the dye was meant to be in I threw my clothes off and jumping in the shower to rinse the dye out and why not shower properly at the same time ?! Two birds one stone. The longer I showered and saw more and more of the colour draining away the more fucking nervous I got. I tried to avoid looking down at my hair as much as I could. Stepping out the shower I wrapped a towel around my body and stood in front of the mirror to check out the damage. Now I’m definitely not a person to blow smoke up their own ass but damn it don’t look half bad! I couldn’t help but cheesily pose in the mirror. I mean it looks on the darker side of purple but honestly probably since it’s wet.

I have to show Faith. Practically bouncing around my room I dry my body and throw on underwear, skinny jeans, a over sized rwby t shirt with the neck cut out and some mis matched trainer socks. Throwing my door open and giving the middle finger to bullshitting bitch tits Barry closed bedroom door, I run down to Faiths room to bang on her door loudly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you .... oh Cora it’s you.”

Nodding my head I barge into her room waving my hand at her in dismissal before throwing myself on her comfy ass chair she stole from the communal kitchen. I wanted it first.

“what was up with the banging? I could have been sleeping?!”

“Faith your always sleeping, so you wouldn’t be loosing out on it anyways. Besides it’s important. Look, look at my hair !” I watched as she frowned at me before slowly raising her eyebrows and grinning at me.

“Well holy shit you grew some big old lady balls and did something not you, I’m proud Cora.” She lent forwards and picked up a chunk of my hair nodding her head slowly. “suits you, it really does”

“Thanks. Now that that’s over with I have girl shit to tell you!” I grinned at her. I waited for her to sit down on bed before I told her the run down on the whole Barry bullshitter conversation I’d had. Occasionally laughing when she’d interrupt with a few insults thrown at him. She loves calling him bitch tits or you know a dead body shafter. She’s creative what can I say and he definitely seems the type to.

“Please tell me that your last bit of news is better then talking about bitch tits? I need a distraction.”

Rolling my eyes at her I waggled my eye brows and told her about the events with the hot but asshole boy. In detail like she demanded a shit ton of times. I couldn’t help but glare at her angrily as she laughed at my expense. I mean she wasn’t there and she should be on my side not his, she’s my best friend for god sake.

“You know how you said he was hot. How hot exactly are we talking here?”

I bit my lip and pulled up my feet onto the chair so that I could hug my knees to my chest. “ Like, 10 out of 10 would bang.  Dark ruffled sex looking hair with these blue eyes that just penetrated my damn soul! Oh my god his smile. A proper panty dropping water fight in your pants type of smile. His tattoo too! Hot mighty damn. He was an ass but I so would do him. “

“Did he make your hoohaa tingle ?” Faith ginned.

“Damn right he did but I was to angry and embarrassed to notice.”

I listened to her full on belly laugh at me for a couple of seconds before I stood up and mumbled that I was going to the library to do a bit of work so that I could chill a bit over the weekend