Not Me Anymore

Giving Up

I sit in the restaurant staring at the parfet in front of me. Slowly I poke it watching it melt ever so slightly. I'd rather not have to confront what is in front of me for once. I don't really know exactly what to do. My mother is worried about my health, and my friends worried about my mental health.

"Come on, eat up" Maveth sigh's taking his spoon and dipping it in frozen treats. I look up at him surprised by his reactions.

"Hey, I was going to eat that!" I quickly take my spoon digging into the cold treat.

"It's nice seeing you not crying" he says as I stick my tongue out at him.

"I've been known as a cry baby since I was small, I'm frightened easily so having things like death appear before me is going to going to make me cry" I retort.

"True enough, if I felt things like you or other humans did I'd probably cry as well" he says waving a waiter down.

"Would you like another sundae sir?" she asks and he nods, she smiles gently before turning and heading to the counter with his order.

I watch him as he begins to fiddle with the buttons on his vest. I continue eating my ice cream. The eyes around us scuttering about their own business as if not having to worry about me.

"So Maveth...or Death, why'd you take me here?" I ask as he sighs as if not looking forwards to what he has to do next.

"I've decided, that if you wish to stay I'll let, but only until your 'college' is over" he says and I look up at him dropping my spoon to the table the clinging noise causing him to jump. The lady comes back with his sundae. He smiles happy with his order.

"I can stay?" I ask and he nods.

"Even though I created you, you do have your own free will, but I swear if anyone notices your not a living normal person I will come to retrieve you personally" he warns my expression changing.

"Why did you create me? I ask finally mustering up the courage to ask him again.

"Why'd I create you?" he repeats as if questioning his motives.

"Boredom, curiosity...Loneliness" as if unsure he counts the reasons on his fingers.

"N-never mind..." I usher flailing my hands about.

I can kind of understand what happened. I can sort of remember my days when I still had no eyes. I'd sit in my chair whistling songs to pass time. He spent a lot of his off time explaining to me what it was he was looking for. I cover my eyes for a split second, the pain becoming a bit too much for me to handle.

"Hey is your head bothering you again?" he asks and I shake my head putting a fake smile on. I'm Erin, I repeat in my head. Holding onto what threads of sanity I can grasp onto.

We sit there for awhile, in silence. Finally he pulls out a book and checks his watch. Quickly he glances through the thick leather thing, before looking up at me.

"I have to go, work" he replied standing from his seat.

"Remember, if anyone even gets a little suspicious about you" he says placing his hand on my forehead "You won't have a chance to notice you've left this world" He growls his eyes reflecting his true nature.

"I got it" I state grabbing onto his hand, quickly his facial expression changes from threatening to surprise "Are you lonely?" I blurt out something coming over me now.

"J-Jasper?" he stutters before pulling away "it's good to see you coming back to your senses now" he walks up to the cashier paying our bill.

I stare at my hand in shock. Did I mean what I said. I am just a doll made by him aren't I? I sigh standing grabbing my bag and walking out into the afternoon daylight. I want to go by some more stuff for my dorm. I begin my walk over to the mall.