Promise ME (leopika fanfic)

Peace And Alcohol

I don't remember much after the third shot of whatever Melody bought me at the bar hit my system. The people around me turned to nothing more than blobs of my fuzzy vision that spoke so fast I couldn't understand. I didn't care anymore, whatever they had to say couldn't be as important as the drink in my hand. Normally I would not go out with the others on their nights off because they always got into trouble. Lately I haven't had the notion to stop myself from joining in their childish play. I needed a distraction. Anything to get last night's nightmare out of my mind so I would be able to close my eyes tonight. I slowly put the glass to my lips and the bitter taste made my lips purse but I didn't complain. I guess that this would also help even if once before I would've killed myself for walking into a bar.

I had to wonder what happened to me to make me turn out this way. I used to be so sure about what I had to do with myself and that I had to uphold the Kurta clans tradition and rules. Here I was in a downtown bar intoxicated, with a bunch of girls I didn't even know around me. I tried to ignore their flirty laughs and their fingers that lingered lower with each word that they said to me. I had to assume that I would be sober enough to say no when the time came. The only problem was that everyone else had left over an hour ago and I had no ride. Worse comes to worse I would have to drive myself back to the base and hope that everyone was asleep.

How did it come to this? What had I done to live like this? Every other night alone and screaming because of the voices in my head. I remembered only one time that the voices didn't wake me up in the middle of the night. I was with him and he was always so warm even though he wore to much of that cheap cologne. We used to fight so much that you wouldn't think that me and him would have any passionate affairs. His lips against mine while his hands tangled in mine trying to hold in any sound to not wake the others so close by. That was long ago... before the death of not only me but of my humanity. I didn't care anymore about... I slowly stood up and leaned against the bar table for support.

My legs felt weak under me and my stomach felt tight as I put my hand on my forehead. It had gotten so quite that I almost wished that those girls were still here so there was some noise. I didn't even realize that they had left and now it was only me and the bartender who hummed to himself in silence. I gave a sigh as my headache already set in as I looked at the dim lights that attracted flies. "Hey are you going to pay or just stand there?," I turned clumsily to see the cashier glaring at me with her blonde hair up out of her eyes. I reached into my pocket to pull out the money I owed and left without another word. Most of what escaped my lips sounded more like gibberish anyway.

I leaned against cars as I felt my head get dizzy and my feet seemed to have a mind of their own as I fell against my car. My fingertips were numb from the cold as I slowly opened up the door and climbed into my car. I fumbled with the keys for what felt like a decade and my throat tightened as I felt my stomach turn. I knew that I shouldn't be driving, I was putting me and everyone else I knew it danger. The only problem was I had no other choice because my phone had died a few hours ago. It didn't matter, it would be fine as long as I stayed in my right state of mind. The hotel was right downtown past main street, ten minutes tops.

I gave a small sigh as I turned on the car and the engine lights came on to blind me. Tomorrow I would have to figure out a way to get the boss to keep me in darker areas. I slowly closed the door and looked behind me to see nothing more than the darkness of tonight. The time flashed on, it was an hour after midnight which meant I would have four hours of memories to relive. I avoided sleeping as much as I could because of the fear of seeing them and hearing them. All of them asking why I got to live and they all had to die. Not only that but I had broken so many of iur traditions that I didn't think it was right to call myself a Kurta anymore. That however, was what I was and my eyes will always remind me of that.

I scare people with my eyes and now I had the fighting skill to match it. The only problem was how could I fight something that is only in my head? I woke Melody up so many times with my frantic screams that she offered a therapist. I would probably ruin someone's life forever if I ever told my whole life story. I slowly pulled onto the highway and focused on the road trying to silence my thoughts. No one would ever understand what it is like to loose so much and not be able to do a damn thing about it. I squeezed the wheel so hard that I thought my knuckles would burst open as I made a sharp turn onto side street. No one would ever understand what it was like to smell all the blood. No one would even give a damn!

I gasped as I made another sharp turn because a car had came out of the other lane and surprised me. Me heart raced as I quickly turned the wheel trying to regain control. The wheels screeching echoed in my ears as I felt my heart stop when the car stopped. Glass exploded onto my face and my body crashed against the dash board so hard I felt my arm snap. My hair tangled over my eyes with blood and sweat as my body crashed through the windshield. I tasted blood in my mouth that mixed with whiskey as I laid there. My body was numb as my eyes wondered aimlessly at the building around me. Where was I?

I stopped as I heard a scream and a woman ran I over to me with tears in her eyes. She opened her mouth but I couldn't hear any of the words she said to me if she was talking. Her tears dripped on my face as blood lightly ran down the sides into my blonde hair. I was cold and for once I felt absolutely alone laying there with people around me. Maybe this is what peace felt like, no hatred or revenge lingering on the back of my mind no matter the place or time. I opened my mouth to speak but the ringing in my ears was enough to drown out even the sound of my own voice. Light flashed in my eyes as people in uniforms ran over to me with a flash light. Tall grass was all around me and now to dirt would be a pure red color.

Maybe this would be it, laying on the cold ground just like the rest of my people. I wasn't chosen to live but was chosen to die in another place at a different time. People touched me but I couldn't feel them and I had to wonder if they could see my eyes through my contacts. I didn't care if they did or not because I could feel myself slowly giving in to natures cruel game. Gon had Killua and I wish I could apologize for leaving him without saying goodbye. Leorio... where do I start with that idiot? I knew that he would take care of the kids and I was sorry. I was so sorry for not meeting up with him when we had planned. My revenge caught ahead of the one thing that I learned how to do over the last year, and that was how to love.

I had nothing left to live for because he had probably found a pretty girl that had an advantage over me in every way. The thought hurt but that was how I felt all the time so it really didn't make a difference to me. My breath got caught in my throat and I cried out as I felt my lungs burn. My arms laid at my side and I had no doubt that it was broken by the way it pulsed. Not even five minutes before I couldn't focus on anything and now I was so painfully aware of my surroundings. I could see every thing in deel crimson red, only a few more moments and it will all be over.

One of the people held up a thick needle and before I could protest the whole world became fuzzy. I was actually excited to see everyone again.