Rekindled

Make It Rain

For the better part of a third of my life on this earth, I have been in love with a girl who has been described as many things.

Crass, boyish. (Which on some days, isn't far from the truth but I wouldn't tell her that. Might end up with a large scar resembling that of the bark of a tree that grows 11 stories above the heart of Manhattan.)

Timid, shy. (This is a rarity for her. She is usually the first to give her opinion and the last to leave a conversation at a party. She'd make friends with a stranger in no time. I'd know. I was one once upon a time. But she has her moments where that self doubt or anxiety kicks in and she'll clam up. But that's okay. You just need to know how to get her to open back up.)

Strong and opinionated. (This. This has been proved time and time again for many a different reason. She is the strongest woman I know, overcoming adversity in her career, surviving not one, but two painful divorces. One more emotionally damaging while the other one was physical. Surviving abuse. Living through the pain of outliving a child. She's never been knocked down by any tragedy or adversity to come her way. I don't expect that to change any time soon. And as for her opinions? Whether it's fighting with me, or a candid interview, or even baring it all during an oscars speech- Miss McConall has been known to stand up for her opinions and fight for them. Long before she became a Fallon. And especially ever since then.)

For almost 17 years I've been in love with a woman who is known to be a multitude of descriptors. Her many forms are each beautiful and chaotic in their own rights but when it all comes together, it creates a tempest.

How's the Garth Brooks song go?

She's sun and rain.

She's fire and ice.

A little crazy but it's nice

And when she gets mad you best leave her alone

Cause she'll rage just like a river then she'll beg you to forgive her.

She's so New York and then LA

Every town along the way.

She's every place that I've never been

She's making love on rainy nights

She's a stroll through Christmas lights

And she's everything I'd want to do again.

I think that describes her perfectly. She's both everything I ever wanted and everything I never asked for. She's a hurricane. She comes in without warning and she hits you. Strong. Fast. She'll knock you right off of your feet if you aren't ready and trust me..

No one could ever be ready for Kinsley McConall.

The world wasn't ready, the stage wasn't ready, and she damn sure caught me off guard. She knocked me off my feet and took the breath from my lungs and I've been in love with her every second since that day.

17 years ago I fell in love with a girl whom, when best described, sounds like a perfect storm.

I loved her chaotic beauty then. I loved her yesterday and I'll love her tomorrow.

But today?

Today I can't really stand her.

"JIM!!!" I heard my wife's voice floating up the stairs as I stepped back and looked up at my finished painting. I let my hands fall from my hips and sighed. "Oh my god if she doesn't stop.." I put the roller back in the pan of paint and took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, seeing my own breath. "JIM!!!!" I clapped my hands together and turned and walked out of the door, closing and locking it behind me before bounding down the steps to our bedroom.