Never Let This Go *Paramore*

Chapter Seventeen: The End

"These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me,"

-My Immortal; Evanescence

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Hayley's P.O.V.

Once again, my tears are blocking my view, and it's making it harder to drive. I wish I could just stop crying, but obviously I can't. I basically just told them that I'm going to kill myself and there is nothing they can do to stop me. Even though this is true, I cry harder. The skies are dark, even though it's early afternoon, it's probably going to rain.

About twenty minutes later, the rain starts, and the tears don't stop. The car is going to crash, I know it. It ends up swerving into a tree, as my life flashes before my eyes, terrified.

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"Christi! Don't you ever think about how this might effect your daughter!" Dad yells from the kitchen, me hiding in my room.

"MY daughter? She's your daughter too!" she yells back, slamming something down.

"Don't put this on me! I want the best for her!" he yells back. A couple tears fall from my young eyes, not yet exposed to these experiences. I want my parents to love each other again...

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"Hey emo kid! Say awesome again!" some kid yelled at me pushing me into my locker. I don't respond. "Say it!" I've been practicing my non-southern voice.

"Awesome," I say pushing him off of me.

"Ohhh, emo kid has been practicing," he says with a rude chuckle.

"Stop," I tell him.

"Don't tell me what to do," he says knocking my school books from my hands.

"You have some nerve!" I respond. He just laughs again and pushes me back into my locker.

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"Excuse me," I say. "Are you Josh?" I ask the tall guy in front of me.

"Yeah, you Hayley?" he asks with a warm smile. I nod. "Zac's told me a lot about you,"

"You too," I say smiling back at him.

"You're a lot shorter than I thought for you to be," he says with a laugh.

"Nah, you're just abnormally tall," I explain laughing.

"We will find out in future years I assume," he says sarcastically. I laugh. He's nice.

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"WE ARE PARAMORE!" I yell into the mic, a lot of people came to see us tonight. I mean, it is the Final Riot! though, right? The crowd screams loudly and I smile holding the mic up. The lights go along with the beat of our song Misery Business.

I'm in the business of misery,

Let's take it from the top.

She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock.

It's a matter of time before we all run out,

When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth.

I waited eight long months,

She finally set him free.

I told him I couldn't lie he was the only one for me.

Two weeks we caught on fire,

She's got it out for me,

But I wear the biggest smile.

The crowd is extra loud for this one, screaming each word, even overpowering me and my mic. Damn.

Whoa, I never meant to brag.

But I got him where I want him now.

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now.

But God does it feel so good,

'Cause I got him where I want him now.

And if you could then you know you would.

'Cause God it just feels so...

It just feels so good.

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"You're just going to leave after everything?" I ask Josh and Zac. I can't help but tear up.

"Sorry Hayley, but this just isn't making us happy anymore," Josh explains.

"I understand, if you're not happy here then you should find something else for you," I respond.

"We'll miss you guys," Jeremy says. Taylor is still in shock, not saying a word. Zac is his best friend, they are brothers, I can't imagine what he must be feeling. I saw it coming though.

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"I know that this is Warped Tour, but you all are still standing in the heat to see us play," I yell to the crowd, Warped Tour 2011 is the first tour without Josh and Zac.

"So, I want to know, who has ever been to Warped Tour?" I ask. The crowds roars and I smile.

"Who's experiencing their first Warped Tour?" The crowd screams just as loud.

"Alright, we have some newcomers! Who has ever seen Paramore live?" I yell into the heated sun lite music festival. The crowd screams very loudly and I ask my last question.

"Yah! That's awesome! Who is in the middle of their first Paramore show?" The crowd screams loudly at our band.

"Well I have a message for you all. WE ARE PARAMORE! And whether you like it or not, once you come into our happy, dysfunctional family, there is no getting out!" I yell smiling more than ever.

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The memories flood back...everything. All that I've been through. The tears flood down my face now. I miss smiling. I miss the good memories. This is just making me realize, I don't want to die, I just want to be saved. My eyes close before I can do anything though.

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Can I tell you a secret?

I almost started to cry when I wrote the sentence, 'I miss smiling'.

Gosh, I'm sorry.