You still choose her

Denial

Kagome

I was standing in front of the well, my hands resting on the old wooden rim. It's been a while since I came back here. Traumatic experience to see the person you love, disappear in front of your eyes.

I've already finished high school. From the moment I came back from the feudal era, the entrance of the well hasn't been opened since. When I made my wish and the shikon jewel was shattered into bits and pieces, I knew that I finished what i was meant to do. Somewhere in my heart, I was prepared to leave. I was ready to face the reality of leaving the people i love, behind. I knew it, I knew it from the start that it was all temporary, that eventually, I'll have to say goodbye. Ironically, that's one of the many things I was not able to do.

It was too sudden. Too fast, too quick.  I couldn't even properly say 'Thank you', to all the people that helped me through everything. I couldn't even finish saying 'Thank you' to Inuyasha.

The thought of his name caused me to clench my hands into a fist. I  looked down at the well, seeing nothing but dirt. 

I remember that day, all too well. As if it happened a few seconds ago.

I remember standing in the arms of my family as they wept with joy that I was alive. I remember seeing a bright light and when i turned around, I saw Inuyasha slowly fading away. Before I managed to get to him, he was gone. I remember feeling overwhelmed and shocked, I couldn't believe what happened. I flinched and I was back to reality, I didn't remember being frozen on the spot. I turned towards my family and told them I'll be back. They nodded their heads and smiled at me. I heard my brother say, " Go get him, Onee-san!" and my mother giggling as my grandfather knocked him on the head. I placed my hand on the well for support and jumped in, I felt the familiar envelopment of light surrounding me, until it started dissipating. I could  faintly see the inside of the well and knew that something was wrong. I dropped to the ground on my knees and I could distinctly hear my family talking.

I closed my eyes and clench my hands tighter, my knuckles turning into shades of red. I slammed my hands on the wood and turned around sharply. I headed towards the door, dragging my feet. As i stepped out of the small bungalow, I was met with a sudden gust of wind and the warm rays of sunlight on my face. I looked up towards the sky and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to calm down. My fists unravelled and I placed my hands on my hips, I started pacing around and decided I needed to sit down for a moment.

As I was walking through the open grounds of the shrine —in hopes for a peaceful and clear mind— I passed by the tree. I halted and looked at it for a while, memories started flooding in my head. 

"Everywhere I go, why do i always see you...?"

  I hopped over the ropes surrounding the tree that would give the idea to people like me to not go over the boundaries. Placing my hands on the old bark, I ran my fingertips over the dent that was made hundreds of years ago. The symbol of overwhelming love and an orchestrated, painful betrayal between Kikyo and Inuyasha. Their story may have ended but we will continue to live on and she will live on in our memories. She has made a dent in each of our hearts which we will never forget.

"It's not fair,-" i smiled as tears started fogging my eyes.

I started shaking my head, telling my tears to go away. I couldn't cry anymore, I didn't want to. The endless nights of sobbing to sleep were already enough to prove how much I wanted to see them again. To see Inuyasha again.

" Stop. Stop!" I put my hands on my chest and gripped tightly, hoping to ease the heartache I was feeling. My chest went back as my shoulders folded in.  A few moments later, I started laughing. I laughed at the miserable state i was in, for being this humiliating and weak. The tears that kept streaming down my face choked me. Or maybe it was all the crying? My throat felt so dry but it seemed to drown me. It felt so full that i couldn't speak. Soon it got tighter and tighter, my eyes started closing against my will as I clawed my throat for air.

Then, everything went black.