Since You Left Me

Reminiscing

Once in the truck after church I turned to Dax. "Did you like it?" He smiled as I nodded. "Did you know? I was his mission, I mean." I said as Dax nodded and looked at me, slightly turning to me. "He told me. He wanted me to help him see it through." I nodded. "He wanted to make sure that his mission would get completed even if he left." I said as Dax nodded. "Probably." He waited a long time before picking my chin up with his index finger and thumb. He just dropped my chin and drove to his house. We were sitting on his couch alone in the living room when he finally asked me the question he had been waiting to ask.  "Why don't you let me in?" He asked as I finally realized he didn't know Laden. "Laden Pine." I whispered as he raised an eyebrow. "Laden Pine is someone that I used to know. We met when we were like six. Best friends instantly. We literally basically lived at one another's houses. We caught tadpoles in the ditch. Ran from cows. Picked blueberries and tried throwing them in one another's mouths. We spent all of our spare time together. He was like the brother I never had. Being an only child is no fun and he got it, since he was one too. We just clicked and did everything together. Going to roller rinks, swimming, yelling, wrestling. I mean we were inseparable. Sometime around the time we turned 13 he started drifting away. Hanging out with boys, instead of the quirky girl that lived across the street. The friends he picked weren't necessarily good people. I think part of him blamed me because we felt each other drifting apart. He would be busy when I could hang out. And I would make myself busy so he couldn't hang out when he wanted because I didn't want to be second choice. We didn't do a thing to stop us from drifting apart. We could have but we didn't. That's when Eli swooped in and rescued me. He saved me from losing myself by watching Laden destroy himself. I loved Laden and I loved Eli but I can't seem to figure out why you remind me of Laden so much. I just felt broken and used in a way. After everything that happened. It's dumb but I put all of my happiness into them. I knew I lost them before I even truly did, because lets face it i always lose everyone. I just thought since I was used to it that it wouldn't hurt this bad. But I was wrong Dax, so, so wrong. " I sighed wiping tears away.

That's when the sound of tiny feet  pitter pattered down the hall. "Daxxy look-. What did you do to Bewwa?" Ava asked as she hopped onto Dax's lap, studying me as I tried wiping the falling tears away from my cheeks. "I didn't do anything." He muttered as I laughed at her protective looking six year old face. "Did you steal her animal crackers, because that's mean." He shook his head trying to hold back the laughter as I laughed through my tears. "No Ava I didn't steal her animal crackers." "Good because then I would have to beat you up. You can't make my pretty Bewwa cry." She said glaring at him as best she could as she climbed into my lap and cuddled against my chest. I just held and hugged the small girl that looked exactly like him. "Hey! I'm your brother. What if she makes me cry?" He asked as Ava shrugged. "You had it comin." I laughed and laughed at that one. "There's that laugh." Dax said putting an arm around me to tug on Ava's hair which earned a few scowls from her cute baby face. "Dax have you seen Lexy?" Miranda asked stepping into the house and then glanced at his arm around me and smiled. "Hey Bella." "Hey Miranda." "No M, I think she's in-." "What do you want Miranda? Oh hey Bella." Lexy said smirking at Dax's arm then glaring at him as I felt a blush creep up my neck. "Dinner time kids, come on Bella. Do not argue. I already set a place for you, Lex go get your father from of the back porch." Dax stood up taking Ava's hand and leading me into the kitchen with his other hand on the small of my back. I entered the kitchen sitting between Dax and Ava as a man, gruff and tall, who looked just like Dax only an older version looked at me. "Hi. Im Mr. Ryder, call me Shawn." I nodded, "Bella." I said as we sat down and said a prayer thanking God for family an the food he provided. "So Bella, how do you know Dax?" His father asked as I began eating. "School. He and I have the same circle of friends." I said as he smiled. "With a pretty girl like you, I would be in that circle of friends as well. You play sports?" He asked as I nodded. "Dance." "That ain't a sport." Dax muttered as his mom cleared her throat. "Is not." "Sorry, dance is not a sport." He restated as I raised an eyebrow. "It most certainly is, Dax." His father chuckled as Dax shook his head. "Yes it is. Can you dance for hours on end with technique and almost perfect precision? How about while bring all the emotion as well? Oh and remembering the million and one things you have too for one dance alone?" I smirked as he raised an eyebrow. "Easy." He said as I sighed. "Yeah a whole lot easier than running to catch a ball that got thrown, at least when a girl gets lifted she doesn't hit the ground like your passes." I joked finally feeling comfortable as his sisters laughed. "Gosh she's funny. "Go Bewwa." "She's right." Miranda, Lexy, and Ava said as Dax glared at all of them. "Okay dance is a sport." He finally admitted defeatedly as I smiled triumphantly. "We should keep her around, he listens." His father joked as I smiled. "Just cause he's whipped." Lexy giggled as I smiled while I blushed. "She also sings really well and plays piano. Amazingly might I add." Dax says proudly as I look at my plate. I haven't touched a piano or sang since the night Eli and I sang and played down in Dax's basement. That has been two months. "Oh you will have to play for us then." Mr. Ryder said as I shook my head. "Oh I don't know. I am not all that good." "She's lying." Dax spit out as I glared at him. "Well, play for us after dinner?" Mr. Ryder asked as I immediately internally started to panic. "Oh we were going to shoot after dinner." Dax said seeing the flash of panic in my eyes. I thanked him with my eyes as he smiled over at me as if to tell me he owed me. "Oh well some other time." His dad said as I nodded. There was small talk and more questions answered throughout dinner. But overall it was very nice. I didn't have that family aspect at home. My parents were always working and I didn't have any siblings. Eli used to be there but now he isn't. I sighed thinking how I would love to have this one day. This loving family. Their unshakable faith. Even if there is slight bickering with one another, love is evident behind each word.