"Y/N, please? It will only be a couple days..." Natasha basically begged. She wanted me to take over for keeping an eye on Wade, who'd been temporarily living in the tower. He claimed that he'll stay just until his next movie...whatever that means.
I groaned and threw my shoulders around a bit, showing how unprofessional I can be, and then let out a long and heavy exhasperated breath. "Fiiiiiiiiine. I expect a new weapon from Tony and a couple days off though! I also want money! Don't you dare think for a second that you are getting away with this without paying for it! This was supposed to be your job Nat." I glared at her as she glared at me and then she curtly nodded.
"Fine Y/N. Deal." She answered tightly, fumbling through her pockets. After a moment she pulled out a piece of folded paper. "I forgot..." she said while opening up the paper and working out the creases, "you'll need this." She handed me the paper and then turned on her heel to leave, not even bothering to explain the peice of parchment. I watched her leave with confusion and then averted my eyes to the paper. I scoffed when I read the contents...
How to Babysit a Pool:
* Don't tell him to shut up. He'll just talk more and it will be a waste of your breath.
* Never hesitate to feed him as much as he wants. If you're lucky, he might fall into a food coma.
* Be nice to him, he'll tend to not be as annoying then. It's better to befriend a Pool rather than be his target for annoyance and endless teasing games.
* Don't bother trying to kill him...it won't work.
* Don't try to abandon him somewhere. He'll always find you and he'll likely cause catrosphic damage in the area you dumped him in. Don't lay your burden onto others...
* Expect harmful company. People and things always want a shot to either hire or "kill" him
* If you're a girl I suggest you find someone else to watch him.
* If you're a girl and you're still watching him despite my warning...expect a lot of flirting and him trying to convince you of his once good looks and 'super penis'.
* If you're a girl, lock your bedroom and bathroom door. Also, make sure all viewing areas are closed off.
* Don't let him near dangerous objects.
* Don't let him use the microwave, dryer, or washer
- Courtesy of Login.
I stared at the piece of paper with an expression of disbelief and confusion. This was ridiculous. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I set it down on the counter.
"Greetings." I was a bit startled and jumped a little seeing Wade standing near one of the doorways.
"Oh sorry, didn't mean to startle you there. I thought you were supposed to be a spy- ya know- and not get scared of simple things like hellos for instance." Wade said casually as he polished one of his guns.
I could feel my face go from fear to confusion and then annoyance real quick. "Hey I don't appreciate-"
"Oh, my bad! I suppose you're about to correct me and tell me that those were simply reflexes?" He put away his gun and shook his hands around for emphasis. "Hmm? And that you were only preparing to defend yourself, right?" Even beneath the mask, I could tell he was looking at me hardcore.
I growled. He wasn't wrong.
"Loss for words there darling?"
"Fine. You got me." I glared at him from beneath my lashes and shrugged in defeat.
"AHA!" He cried, throwing his hands about everywhere in excitement.
I glared at him but he just kept going on preaching about hero pride and whatnot. After a while I just shoved past him and went to sit in the lounging area.
He followed me moments later after he finished his speech. He crept up behind me from where I was sitting and got really close to my face. "You know that thing is wrong right?"
"What?" I was uncomfortable with how close he was to my face, especially from behind since I couldn't see him as well, but I didn't bother trying to push him away. I wasn't going to waste my energy fighting him.
"The list." He jumped over the back of the couch, squatting beside me on the cushion.
"Am I supposed to take your word?" I said with a lifted a brow.
His eyes widened for just a moment and he threw his hands out. "Absolutely! For instance, about my big boy down there-" His eyes narrowed as he pointed down at his crotch. I could tell he was smiling beneath the mask.
"What the hell Wils-"
"It's real." He said in a hushed tone.
I decided not to argue and just gave him a grim smile. "Okay..." He didn't seem very pleased with my response.
"YOU WANT PROOF? CAUSE I WILL GIVE YOU-"
"No! No, thank you...umm, I'll take your word for it..." I stifled a giggle. He was a bit odd, yes, but not too bad. At least not as bad as everyone made him sound like.
"Cool beans. So," he rubbed his hands together with enthusiasm, "What now? Movies? Games? Food? Hot tub?"
Of course, as soon as I mentally approved of him he had to say that. "Really Wade?"
"So is that a yes? To the hot tub?"
"Wade." I said sternly. He was a persistent little shit.
"We can wear swimsuits. We don't have to be naked- although I'd prefer it." He went on, whispering the last part to himself.
"Wade!"
"Right, got it...so maybe that list wasn't entirely wrong about me?" He shrugged with a devilish smile.
I stared him down hard.
He held up a finger in thought, correcting himself. "Except Super Penis. It's real. And I'd be happy to show you-"
'Don't you dare finish that sentence Wilson,' I thought.
"-In the hot tub."
