A Number of Wrong Turns

Chapter 1

Here's an interesting fact for you. Even though most cars weigh over a tonne, it's easy to notice when a woman teleports into one while it's in motion.

It's the way the passenger seat slams back as if it's caught a flying boulder.

Thankfully, the speed limit was 30.

"Good evening, Ayjer," I gritted my teeth as I struggled to keep the car on the lonely desert road; she'd misjudged our relative velocities, again. "I trust you'll tell Rheda why we won't get the security deposit back?"

Lounging in the passenger seat, the six foot red head removed the silver diadem from her head and cracked her knuckles. "She can take it out of my pay."

Bringing the car back to the speed limit after its abrupt deceleration, I checked the mirrors in case the desert had suddenly spawned witnesses. "You could have caused an accident, you know?" I stated wryly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her pointedly look at the barren desert. "Yep; you could have ran into a whole lot of sand." She agreed.

Keeping my tone light, I pointed my thumb in the direction of the village I'd just passed through. "And if local law enforcement saw me swerve into a sagebrush?"

The redhead looked insulted. Lifting a hand to her modest chest, she huffed, "Are you implying that I couldn't sweet talk some sheriff out of a mere traffic ticket?"

"I suspect you could convince him to let me get away with murder." I conceded, switching gears and accelerating as we passed the village's boundary.

That seemed to mollify her, "...Well, if he didn't know them very well." She chuckled, leaning forward as something caught her eye.

Following her gaze and seeing nothing but a stunted pine, I guessed, "...Remind you of home?"

"Kinda," Ayjer nodded slowly, her head tracking whatever had caught her attention. "Not so many trees on Eighenheim of course."

I wasn't entirely sure that Eigenheim's flora counted as trees; they were the right shape, but they were barely a meter tall. Then again, given they'd spawned on another planet, terrestrial taxonomy probably didn't apply. "Even fewer aliens." I gave her an amused sideways glance.

"Well, hopefully with your help, there'll be less by the end of the week." She smirked.

"Yeah..." I said slowly, reaching up to run my fingers through my short blonde hair. "Remind me why I'm being sent out here to help with that; I'm not a field agent?" Technically I wasn't one of Rheda's agents at all; I wasn't even in university yet... but, apparently, when your best friend is an alien, her boss gets to ask you to help save the planet up to twice a year.

"You need reasons? Ok," Ayjer started to count on her fingers, "One; you know more about the Andskoti than any other human on Earth. Two, you've fought Andskoti-."

My knuckles turned a panicked white on the wheel, "Three times. And only when running wasn't an option; I'm not Rambo." I spoke without a hint of shame; Andskoti may look human, but the weakest of them could outwrestle a bear.

The redhead rewarded my cowardly admission with an affectionate head rub, "And so you should; Andskoti are way too dangerous for humans to fight. That said, you have fought them and while your tactics were unconventional-"

"Last time, I pushed a crate onto one of them." I muttered, remembering the earsplitting crash. "I think it had airplane parts in it? Then I ran away while he was pinned."

"-They were effective." Ayjer continued, pointedly. "You remember what Rheda says about a fair fight?"

"It's an 'unnecessary handicap'." I quoted with a sigh.