RANTS

rant ii

okay so for starters let's say this was a rough week.

my transition sentence is simple but sounds quite complex: my best friend, who spent the weekend with her best friend, had an alcoholic congestion on sunday. 

she spent an entire night at the hospital with some tubes and needles pierced into her skin. she is young, like really young to be drinking, let alone have something like that happen to her. 

i had this exam to get into a school he next weekend - meaning today, it is currently saturday. i would sit and try to concentrate and read about how the mediterranean civilizations - and i couldn't get the image out of my head. the image of her, slumped on the floor, hiding in the closet so her mom wouldn't see her. her best friend dragging her there. 

i wouldn't forget the sound of her sobs as she explained what had happened over two forty-second voice notes. this is so cliche but my study book has a few tear stains. 

secondly, i broke my fucking back studying. i stress-ate a lot more than i should have, but thats probably an excuse. i don't know how i did in the exam so wish me luck.

i struggled with the irritation that knowing that my sister's ex teacher of religion was a homophobic, sexist loser who felt better with himself telling bullshit to children to make them look up to him. on his last class LITERAL shit came out of his mouth.

a) he claimed an ignacio de loyola kinda posture. im not religious but i know ignacio the loyola used to kill people and shit before being a super good human being and a saint. this fucking 30-something-and-still-living-w-my-mom teacher told their students that he had left blind a classmate of his when he was in middle school. 

b) he said he had abused emotionally of his ex girlfriend. 

c) THIS FUCKING DICKHEAD TOLD THE KIDS THAT HE HAD HAD TESTICULAR CANCER SO HE COULD NEVER HAVE CHILDREN. HE TOLD THEM HE CONSIDERED THEM THEIR CHILDREN AND THAT HE COULD MISS THEM. okay ur probably thinking aw thats sad don't be rude. but dude. thats a fucking lie. like. i know it and i have my reasons to say so but i wont bc im lazy.

i told my sister she should report him to the teachers, saying he left a classmate blind and abused of his gf. she said that there was no point cause he is leaving anyways and that if she made a fuss her classmates (who look up at the teacher) would hate her. my mom said that as long as my sister was aware things were fine. BUT I MEAN THESE KIDS ACTUALLY LOOK UP AT HIM. 

they look up at a guy who said that gays are going to end with the world, that if a guy only wants a woman to fuck her its because she uses swear words, among other things. 

my dad said you should care about your own education or concentrate on more important things. children are our future, and if you let them believe these kind of things....

sounds kinda important to me. 

anyways todaay i found out that this guy i had a - not big - but significant crush, had gone on a date with a girl. our relationship is complicated and pretty much nonexistent and maybe ill discuss it later. i acted super chill and actually FELT super chill like oh okay. i mean i know i wont ever have anything with him i just wanna kiss him. but then on the afternoon i was drunk and talking w a friend and we started stalking this girl. "im prettier," "she doesnt know how to dress," "her smile is kind of weird," and such kind of mean comments were thrown. but she did dress awful tho. 

PS omg i just set myself this stupid goal of kissing 10 persons before school starts next year and i'll buy myself something i have always wanted with the money im saving. a twisted treat yo self thing. ok im weird and dumb but wish me luck. 

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im gonna publish some pieces of crap that i wrote here (one is about this guy crush thing i wrote ages ago but im nostalgic and another thing for some dude friend) and try not to internally blush.