Take This To Heart || ImmortalFox

16. When You See My Friends.

"I'm burned out like a bright light, I wasn't ready for this . You're adorable as hell, but I'm glancing at your wrist. Oh, please, have faith, I can be so cavalier and when they start to ask questions I'll make sure to be clear.

When you see my friends, tell them hi for me. Tell them what you think about the way you handled everything. We walk alone on this broken road for eternity. So give me company and help me sing this lonely melody. You turned and all you left me with was this broken key, so tell me what you think."

---

I don't know if it was the right decision or not to come here today. After all, my surgery is in less than two weeks and this funeral wasn't a particularly good factor within it. Needless to say, I was mentally and emotionally unstable nor was I fit enough to be here this morning. It was raining on the day of Kevin's funeral, which made it all the more depressing.

"You know," Eddie mutters in my ear, "we can leave now. We don't have to stay here."

"Of course we do!" I retort, a bit harshly. Though I was appalled, sick to my stomach at just the idea of leaving. "I cannot miss his funeral."

Eddie merely insisted coming along for moral support. That, and because he knew that I'd like for him to be here. Maybe he wanted to come, I'm not sure. He wasn't close to Kevin and this was his last chance to say goodbye. I know that he wished that the two of them would have been closer. They would have gotten that chance, if Kevin had survived, anyway.

I had also never met any of his family before this day. I assume it wasn't the best place to first meet his parents, which happened to only be his father, and it was slightly strange to be dropped off with another man. Maybe not the best first impression.

Though I could tell by the look on his face that he was being haunted by the ghost of his dead son, and I saw traces of him within his father's stare. Kevin said that they were never so close, although not showing up at your own child's funeral would possibly be the death of you, and I couldn't imagine.

I had to suppress a shoulder and try to prevent myself from crying.

It had been rather formal; people were dressed in black and white from head to toe. Red eyes and red lips everywhere I turned to. He and I had looked more casual and out of place, in pressed skinny jeans and sweatshirts. Most of the men in suits and women dressed in dark dresses or blouses. 

"I've never been to a funeral before," I mutter under my breath, which is true. I've only been planning for my own. Nor did I want my first to be to one of my best friends'. The main reason why the service was being held was so that his family in Washington could fly down to see him one last time, and for that, I was thankful, because I needed that, too.

"It's a sad thing, Aleks," says Eddie whilst wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into him. 

"I mean, I guess. People are upset, so.." I trail off as my eyes flicker from each person. Women were tearful; dabbing their eyes and the men clench their jaw in silence to look strong. Just as I had expected.

I begin to wonder what things were going on within the walls and depths of these people's minds. I wonder if some of them felt guilty, and after not visiting him or having the nerve to even call. When he was still alive, he spoke with a tone of loneliness and informed me that no one ever paid mind to it, or his disease, or him. Well now he was gone; passed away in a surgery that should have saved his life.

Though I had some things to thank these people for. Kevin said I was his best friend, and I gave him hope. Despite knowing that I will die, it still fills me with nostalgia and courage, knowing that I once impacted someone in such a way. He brightened my days in the Cancer Ward and gave me courage to take a leap with Eddie.